Space exploration and spending: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 6.5

Many people consider cosmic related researches is waste of resources, while others think that it is more benefecial to allocate that money for public interest.

While space exploration have an indespenciable role in our lives, I agree it is better to spend those finances on developing other spheres such as: education, infrostracture and the like.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedWhile space exploration has an indispensable role in our lives, I believe it is more beneficial to allocate those finances to other areas such as education and infrastructure.

   The sentence is revised to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure a smoother transition between the two parts of the sentence.

One significant advantage of exploring galaxy is its benefits that it offers. It is not a secret that throughout sattelites, launched to the space, in modern world individuals provided with navigation, that brings many advantages including easier trips, roadmaps. For example, in many parts of the world citizens can commute to work or to other places with ready navigators that illuistrate any pontenial danger or safest route untill the final point. This demonstrates that space exploration is a great source of navigation and it makes peoples' life significantly convinient.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedOne significant advantage of exploring the galaxy is the indirect benefits it provides.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the word choice for clarity.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIt is well-known that satellites, which have been launched into space, provide navigation in the modern world, offering numerous advantages such as easier travel and roadmaps.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThis demonstrates that space exploration greatly enhances navigation, making life significantly more convenient.

   The revised sentence corrects the word form and spelling errors, and improves the clarity of the point being made.

Nevertheless, space exploration often demands an excessive amount of

money, which frequeantly does not lead to postive outcomes. Instead, governments should focus on education by establishing many opportunities like newest technologies and developed cryiccula. What makes it really essential is that it can litterally bring long-term success and visble changes. Younger generation can be cause of rapid developement. A strike example can be Norway, where government hugely rely on youngesters' shoulders, who day by day boost country's economy by preventing economic burden and who also tend to create a safe-environment.

Another field that can recieve additional financial support is infrosturcture

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother area that could receive additional financial support is infrastructure.

   The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the new idea.

Building different kinds of astablishments can reduce pressure of accomodating more people and open new facilities for citizens. By offering new job facilities governments can provide many people with better living conditions. A grear example can be Singapoore which chose instant growth by relying on better infrostructure over space exploration, and which considered as one of the leading country across the globe.

In conclusion, although space exploration can be demanding regarding naviagtion, I contend that spending that money on education and infrostucture is far more advantageous due to several above-mentioned factors like better living conditions and long-term success.