Negative news in the media: IELTS Task 2 essay #6, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
326 words. Marked by Axiom on 2 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2326 words
The tendency for news reports in the media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individual and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Negative developments such as crime, natural disasters, or terrorist attacks often receive a disproportionate amount of media attention compared to positive news. While I understand the concern, I believe it might be an overreaction.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis has raised concerns among the public about the harmful effects on individuals and society as a whole.
The revised sentence is more clear and natural.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne of the negative effects of the media's focus on bad news is that it can create unnecessary fear among the public.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSince media can significantly impact people's perceptions and emotions, constant exposure to negative news can distort reality for many people.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses a complex structure more accurately.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe recent COVID-19 pandemic demonstrated how susceptible people are to negative news, even if it comes from an unreliable source, and how it can cause panic in the population.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses a wider range of vocabulary.
Firstly, this has been going on for so long that people have come to realize focusing too much on bad news is nothing more than a media stunt. As media outlets are well aware of the intrinsic interest of people in negativity, they tend to sensationalize bad news for attention.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, I believe that the concerns about media's focus on negative news are exaggerated.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
In addition, with the widespread adaptation of smartphones and the internet, people now have a greater control over what news they consume.
Lexical resource
RevisedSome mobile apps and websites allow users to subscribe to specific topics of interest and follow more reliable sources.
The revised sentence uses a more appropriate word to convey the intended meaning.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedPeople's ability to filter news demonstrates that they are not as adversely affected by negative news reports as some people think.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses a more accurate grammatical structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the main concern about the media's focus on bad news is that it can lead to distortion of reality.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, in my opinion, this seems to be an overstatement, as people now have more awareness of mainstream media tactics and greater control over their news consumption.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses a more accurate grammatical structure.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your paragraphs are well-structured, with a clear central topic in each one.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the negative effects of the media's focus on bad news is that it can create unnecessary fear among the public.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedHowever, I believe that the concerns about media's focus on negative news are exaggerated.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, the main concern about the media's focus on bad news is that it can lead to distortion of reality.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSince media can significantly impact people's perceptions and emotions, constant exposure to negative news can distort reality for many people.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses a complex structure more accurately.
RevisedPeople's ability to filter news demonstrates that they are not as adversely affected by negative news reports as some people think.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses a more accurate grammatical structure.
RevisedHowever, in my opinion, this seems to be an overstatement, as people now have more awareness of mainstream media tactics and greater control over their news consumption.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses a more accurate grammatical structure.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis has raised concerns among the public about the harmful effects on individuals and society as a whole.
The revised sentence is more clear and natural.
RevisedThe recent COVID-19 pandemic demonstrated how susceptible people are to negative news, even if it comes from an unreliable source, and how it can cause panic in the population.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses a wider range of vocabulary.
RevisedSome mobile apps and websites allow users to subscribe to specific topics of interest and follow more reliable sources.
The revised sentence uses a more appropriate word to convey the intended meaning.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more focused and concise.
Suggestions
- Consider making the introduction more focused and concise.
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