Negative news in the media: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
275 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2275 words
The tendency for news reports in the media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individual and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
There is a view that the news media tend to publicize negative news, such as issues and emergencies, over positive news, and that this is harmful to the public and society. While it’s true that watching negative news can affect people negatively, I believe that such information can also increase public awareness.
During this time, media and social media, which are the main sources of information, started posting only about the disease.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedExposure to news about national issues, accidents, or other emergencies can lead to fear, anxiety, and stress in individuals.
The revised sentence is more concise and has a better flow.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis is especially harmful for those who already struggle with mental health challenges.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, about three years ago, in my country, Uzbekistan, the coronavirus pandemic spread globally.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis led to widespread anxiety and fear among many people.
The revised sentence is more idiomatic and natural.
However, these reports of dangerous situations can also help raise awareness about such disasters. Often, the news media and TV publicize these stories to inform the public and encourage people to take precautions. Furthermore, since crime is prevalent around the world, news about criminal activities can also deter criminals. For instance, if a criminal sees news about a crime similar to their own, they may become aware of the potential consequences of their actions.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAs such, people should take proactive measures when confronted with this type of news.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn this way, negative news can not only inform the public but also deter criminal behavior.
The revised sentence is more precise and effective.
This awareness can help protect individuals and society as a whole.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the potential for negative emotions, I maintain that public awareness of disasters and critical issues is crucial.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedExposure to news about national issues, accidents, or other emergencies can lead to fear, anxiety, and stress in individuals.
The revised sentence is more concise and has a better flow.
RevisedAs such, people should take proactive measures when confronted with this type of news.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the potential for negative emotions, I maintain that public awareness of disasters and critical issues is crucial.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn conclusion, while the publicization of negative news can evoke negative emotions in individuals, I believe that it is important for people to be informed about disasters and critical issues.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
RevisedThis is especially harmful for those who already struggle with mental health challenges.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
RevisedFor example, about three years ago, in my country, Uzbekistan, the coronavirus pandemic spread globally.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis led to widespread anxiety and fear among many people.
The revised sentence is more idiomatic and natural.
RevisedIn this way, negative news can not only inform the public but also deter criminal behavior.
The revised sentence is more precise and effective.
RevisedIn conclusion, while the publicization of negative news can evoke negative emotions in individuals, I believe that awareness of disasters and critical issues is more important.
The revised sentence is more precise and effective.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer's position.
Suggestions
- Consider rephrasing the introduction to make the topic and your position more clear.
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