Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #21, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

254 words. Marked by Axiom on 31 July 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2254 words

Some people want governments to spend money on other planets to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is a debate over whether authorities should spend public money to explore new planet to live, while others think that it is an unnecessary expense of public money when there are existing unsolved dilemmas on Earth. Although, space exploration has potential benefits including new resources, I side with those who believe that state money should be directed to ethical concerns.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAlthough space exploration has potential benefits, such as discovering new resources, I align with those who believe that state money should be directed towards addressing ethical concerns.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas and clearly states the writer's opinion.

On the one hand, it could be argued that space exploration can bring the number of benefits, such as new materials, and expansion of life space. When authorities spend public budget for exploration other planets, simultaneously they might find new sources, which can be utilized on earth. Following that, these resources can benefit in various fields, for example, military as well as medicine. For instance, whereas the government is discovering space for new life they can find materials which can be used to benefit Earth development, such as new technology for medicine, which treatments can be used to treat cancer.

Lexical resource
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RevisedWhen authorities allocate public budget to space exploration, they might simultaneously discover new sources that can be used on Earth.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedFurthermore, these resources can be beneficial in various fields, such as the military and medicine.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.

Despite this argument, I believe that there are many challenges to overcome on Earth. In fact, in many countries there are a lot of issues that need to be addressed, such as roads, and hospital services. For example, in many states there are problems with roads which cause difficulties for drivers, also lack of hospitals, that makes it hard for people to access the facilities of hospitals.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, I believe that the numerous challenges on Earth, such as poor infrastructure and inadequate healthcare, cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence provides a clearer transition to the following supporting points.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn fact, many countries are facing numerous issues that need to be addressed, such as poor infrastructure and inadequate hospital services.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the comma and improves the clarity of the idea.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedFor example, many states face challenges such as poor road conditions and insufficient healthcare facilities, which can make it difficult for people to access the necessary services.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.

In conclusion, while space exploration may bring the different kind of benefits, I stick to those who believe that ethical issues surrounding the allocation of funding.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, while space exploration may offer unique benefits, I firmly stand with those who prioritize addressing the ethical issues related to funding allocation.
The revised sentence provides a more effective summary of the main points and clearly restates the writer's position.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer's opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedAlthough space exploration has potential benefits, such as discovering new resources, I align with those who believe that state money should be directed towards addressing ethical concerns.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas and clearly states the writer's opinion.
RevisedHowever, I believe that the numerous challenges on Earth, such as poor infrastructure and inadequate healthcare, cannot be ignored.
The revised sentence provides a clearer transition to the following supporting points.
RevisedIn conclusion, while space exploration may offer unique benefits, I firmly stand with those who prioritize addressing the ethical issues related to funding allocation.
The revised sentence provides a more effective summary of the main points and clearly restates the writer's position.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, could help to strengthen the argument.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedAlthough space exploration has potential benefits, such as discovering new resources, I align with those who believe that state money should be directed towards ethical concerns.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the comma after "Although" and improves the clarity of the writer's position.
RevisedFurthermore, these resources can be beneficial in various fields, such as the military and medicine.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
RevisedIn fact, many countries are facing numerous issues that need to be addressed, such as poor infrastructure and inadequate hospital services.
The revised sentence corrects the incorrect use of the comma and improves the clarity of the idea.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedWhen authorities allocate public budget to space exploration, they might simultaneously discover new sources that can be used on Earth.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
RevisedFor example, many states face challenges such as poor road conditions and insufficient healthcare facilities, which can make it difficult for people to access the necessary services.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
RevisedDespite the arguments for space exploration, I believe that we must first address the numerous challenges on Earth.
The revised sentence provides a clearer transition to the following supporting points.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer's position.

Suggestions

Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.

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