Growing city populations: IELTS Task 2 essay #5, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
361 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2361 words
Rapid population growth in cities — 10 appearances The population of many cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of this growth on people living in these cities? What can be done to maintain their quality of life?
As the population of many cities grows rapidly, this growth can lead to several problems, such as increased demand for housing and educational facilities, as well as greater pressure on transport systems and public services.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis essay will discuss both the effects of this growth on city residents and will suggest some solutions to address these issues.
The revised sentence corrects the verb form and makes the sentence structure parallel.
There are two main problems that cities may face: one of them is a lack of affordable accommodation. As more and more people move to urban areas, the demand for housing increases significantly, putting pressure on the existing housing supply. For example, in rapidly growing cities some families may have to live in overcrowded apartment blocks, which can negatively affect their comfort and quality of life. This can make roads increasingly congested, leading to longer commuting times. As a result, people may spend more time travelling to work or university, which can negatively affect their quality of life.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis increase in demand can push up property prices and rents, making it difficult for low-income residents to find suitable accommodation.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the increased demand and the rise in property prices and rents.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAnother significant effect is the increased pressure on public facilities.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and complete phrasing.
Lexical resource
RevisedAs the population of cities grows, more people are likely to use private cars, putting additional pressure on the roads.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and makes the intended meaning clearer.
One effective way to address these problems is to build more affordable housing. Government should build more affordable housing to meet the needs of a growing population. Another effective way to improve people’s quality of life is to improve infrastructure.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis would increase the housing supply and make it easier for low-income families to find suitable accommodations.
The revised sentence corrects the article usage and provides a more accurate word choice.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis would result in better living conditions and a higher quality of life for them.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection to the previous sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedLife in urban areas is often fast-paced, and many people may commute to work or university every day.
The revised sentence corrects the typo and provides a more accurate word choice.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAs a result, inadequate road infrastructure can lead to severe traffic congestion and increase commuting times.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTherefore, improving roads and transport systems should be another priority for governments, as this would directly benefit residents by making daily travel more convenient.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct connection to the benefit for residents.
To conclude, rapid population growth can put considerable pressure on housing and transport systems, negatively affecting people’s quality of life. However, these issues can be addressed by providing more affordable housing and improving infrastructure
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis increase in demand can push up property prices and rents, making it difficult for low-income residents to find suitable accommodation.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the increased demand and the rise in property prices and rents.
RevisedThis would result in better living conditions and a higher quality of life for them.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection to the previous sentence.
RevisedTherefore, improving roads and transport systems should be another priority for governments, as this would directly benefit residents by making daily travel more convenient.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct connection to the benefit for residents.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis essay will discuss both the effects of this growth on city residents and will suggest some solutions to address these issues.
The revised sentence corrects the verb form and makes the sentence structure parallel.
RevisedAnother significant effect is the increased pressure on public facilities.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and complete phrasing.
RevisedAs a result, inadequate road infrastructure can lead to severe traffic congestion and increase commuting times.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAs the population of cities grows, more people are likely to use private cars, putting additional pressure on the roads.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and makes the intended meaning clearer.
RevisedLife in urban areas is often fast-paced, and many people may commute to work or university every day.
The revised sentence corrects the typo and provides a more accurate word choice.
RevisedThis would increase the housing supply and make it easier for low-income families to find suitable accommodations.
The revised sentence corrects the article usage and provides a more accurate word choice.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Make sure that you fully develop all of your ideas and provide detailed explanations.
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