Diet, exercise and a long life: IELTS Task 2 essay #5, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
318 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2318 words
Some people say a good diet and regular exercise are not necessary for a long and healthy life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that a balanced diet and exercising regularly are unimportant for longevity and a healthy life. While I acknowledge that a balanced and regular exercise are equally necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle, I firmly believe that they are not sufficient on their own.
Lexical resource
RevisedA supportive social environment and job satisfaction are vital for longevity.
The term 'job employment satisfaction' is awkward and redundant. The revised phrase is more concise and accurate.
Eating nutritious foods on a daily basis is also necessary to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMaintaining physical activity is crucial for a healthy lifestyle.
The revised sentence is more concise and has a stronger impact.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedRegular exercise may help prevent individuals from certain diseases, thereby improving cardiovascular health.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Lexical resource
RevisedPeople who stay physically active during the day by engaging in activities such as swimming, weightlifting, and walking may enjoy better health compared to those with sedentary lifestyles, which are becoming increasingly common.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSuch foods usually contain essential nutrients and vitamins that are beneficial to people's mental and physical health, thereby improving their overall well-being.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
If people are surrounded by their loved ones, they may encounter fewer difficulties with interactions, which can make them feel a strong sense of belonging, reducing the risk of loneliness. Job satisfaction is also vital for longevity. Individuals, for example, from low-income backgrounds may face difficulties in providing for their families with daily expenses, which can contribute to health issues, including stress and anxiety.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLongevity is significantly influenced by a supportive social environment.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection to the main idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA supportive social environment not only helps people avoid feelings of isolation, but can also provide a sense of purpose, contributing to better overall well-being.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Lexical resource
RevisedThese health complications may negatively impact both an individual's mental and physical health, thereby reducing overall longevity.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
In my view, a supportive social environment and career fulfillment are equally vital for longevity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while I recognize the importance of regular exercise and a nutritious diet for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I maintain that they alone are not sufficient.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMaintaining physical activity is crucial for a healthy lifestyle.
The revised sentence is more concise and has a stronger impact.
RevisedLongevity is significantly influenced by a supportive social environment.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear connection to the main idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, while I recognize the importance of regular exercise and a nutritious diet for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I maintain that they alone are not sufficient.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedRegular exercise may help prevent individuals from certain diseases, thereby improving cardiovascular health.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
RevisedSuch foods usually contain essential nutrients and vitamins that are beneficial to people's mental and physical health, thereby improving their overall well-being.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
RevisedA supportive social environment not only helps people avoid feelings of isolation, but can also provide a sense of purpose, contributing to better overall well-being.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA supportive social environment and job satisfaction are vital for longevity.
The term 'job employment satisfaction' is awkward and redundant. The revised phrase is more concise and accurate.
RevisedPeople who stay physically active during the day by engaging in activities such as swimming, weightlifting, and walking may enjoy better health compared to those with sedentary lifestyles, which are becoming increasingly common.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
RevisedThese health complications may negatively impact both an individual's mental and physical health, thereby reducing overall longevity.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and concise.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make it more engaging and to the point.
Check your own essay on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 2 checker works.
Check an essay free