Diet, exercise and a long life: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 8.0

There is a view that maintaining a balanced diet and engaging in exercise actively are unnecessary for living a long and healthy life. Although this notion may sound compelling on the surface, I completely disagree with this viewpoint as both healthy diet and regular exercise are the main contributors to people’s overall well-being.

It is wise to acknowledge the significant benefits of a balanced diet. Given that healthy eating is a key in keeping our life healthy, I remain convinced that a healthy balance plays an indispensible role in longevity. A primary advantage of building a habit of eating healthily is that it provides individuals with essential nutrients and vitamins – core ingredients to strengthen our immune system. As a result of maintaining a balanced diet, the risk of severe diseases such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disorders are reduced, promoting overall health. Therefore, these examples highlight the importance of eating nutrient-rich foods in longevity.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedI am convinced that healthy eating, which is a key to a healthy life, plays an indispensable role in longevity.

   The revised sentence is more direct and clear.

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   RevisedOne of the primary benefits of developing a habit of healthy eating is that it provides individuals with essential nutrients and vitamins, which are core components in strengthening our immune system.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

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   RevisedMaintaining a balanced diet reduces the risk of severe diseases such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disorders, thereby promoting overall health.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

Regular exercise is equally paramount as it keeps people active. Living in an active lifestyle strengthens the body and improves both physical and psychological health. Moreover, exercising regularly helps people avoid sedentary lifestyle, which is the main contributor to obesity. As sports reduce anxiety and stress, they directly enhance people’s mental condition and give a sense of satisfaction from life, which might contribute to live longer and healthier. For instance, a person who is engaged in regular exercises is estimated to have longer life expectancy compared to those who are not involved on the grounds that the likelihood of serious diseases and gaining weight is significantly low. Hence, these possible pros of regular exercise show why they are essential in maintaining a healthy and long life.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedRegular exercise, which is often referred to as 'sports', reduces anxiety and stress, directly enhancing people's mental condition and providing a sense of satisfaction in life, which might contribute to a longer and healthier life.

   The revised sentence provides more clarity and is more formal.

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   RevisedFor instance, a person who engages in regular exercise is estimated to have a longer life expectancy compared to those who are not, as the likelihood of serious diseases and weight gain is significantly lower.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

In conclusion, there is a misconception that some people deem a healthy diet and regular exercise as unnecessary for longevity and healthy life. Although this view might be true for some people, I would argue that the role of a balanced diet and consistent exercise is far more substantial.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, some people may mistakenly think that a healthy diet and regular exercise are unnecessary for a long and healthy life.

   The revised sentence is more clear and direct.