Renewable energy share: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 4.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
187 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 August 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 2000 | 2004 | 2007 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Australia | 9 | 10 | 9 |
| Germany | 12 | 16 | 18 |
| Norway | 62 | 66 | 78 |
| Iceland | 52 | 59 | 56 |
Academic Task 1187 words
The bar chart below shows the proportions of renewable energy of total supply in 2000,2004,2007
The given bar chart shows the percentage of renewable energy of total supply in four different countries- Australia, Germany, Norway and Iceland in the years 2000, 2004 and 2007. .
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe data is measured in percentages
The word 'percantages' is a misspelling and should be 'percentages'.
, following that Iceland was the highest proportion. By contrast, Australia and Germany depicted the lowest proportions.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, it is clear that Norway dominated the trend, maintaining the highest proportion throughout the period.
The phrase 'from an overall prospective' is not the most suitable choice here. 'Overall' is more concise and appropriate. Also, the word 'dominant' should be used as 'stayed the dominant' is not grammatically correct.
, and experienced a slight increase to 65% in 2007, following that Iceland had just under 55% in 2000, . Norway showed the substantual rise from 62% to just under 80%, while the Iceland declined to at roughly 55% in 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2000, Norway accounted for roughly 62%
The use of 'the' before Norway is unnecessary and inappropriate as Norway is not a plural noun.
Lexical resource
Revisedit also showed an upward trend to approximately 68% in 2007
The word 'approximately' was misspelled and it should not be written in all caps.
, started with under 10%, ended with 10%. By contrast, , it began with at roughly 12% , then showed an upward trajectory to at approximately 18% by the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedRegarding the lowest proportions, Australia maintained the same percentage throughout the period.
The phrase 'stayed the same percentages' is not grammatically correct. It should be 'maintained the same percentage'.
Lexical resource
RevisedIceland had the highest percentage compared to Australia
The term 'Iceland' should not be preceded by 'the' and 'percentage' is the correct spelling.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview and body paragraphs. The writer has logically organised the information and ideas, and there is a clear progression throughout the response.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more complex relationships between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is clear that Norway dominated the trend, maintaining the highest proportion throughout the period.
The phrase 'from an overall prospective' is not the most suitable choice here. 'Overall' is more concise and appropriate. Also, the word 'dominant' should be used as 'stayed the dominant' is not grammatically correct.
RevisedIn 2000, Norway accounted for roughly 62%
The use of 'the' before Norway is unnecessary and inappropriate as Norway is not a plural noun.
RevisedRegarding the lowest proportions, Australia maintained the same percentage throughout the period.
The phrase 'stayed the same percentages' is not grammatically correct. It should be 'maintained the same percentage'.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay has a mix of complex and simple sentences and the majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few grammatical errors that need to be addressed.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe data is measured in percentages
The word 'percantages' is a misspelling and should be 'percentages'.
RevisedIn 2000, Norway accounted for roughly 62%
The use of 'the' before Norway is unnecessary and inappropriate. Also, 'accounted for' should be used.
RevisedIceland had the highest percentage compared to Australia
The use of 'the' before Iceland is unnecessary and inappropriate. Also, 'percantage' is a misspelling and should be 'percentage'.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for greater precision.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNorway accounted for roughly 62%
The use of 'the' before Norway is unnecessary and inappropriate. Also, the word 'accounted' should be used in conjunction with 'for'.
Revisedit also showed an upward trend to approximately 68% in 2007
The word 'approximately' was misspelled and it should not be written in all caps.
RevisedIceland had the highest percentage compared to Australia
The term 'Iceland' should not be preceded by 'the' and 'percentage' is the correct spelling.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The writer addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately selected and effectively compares the data.
Suggestions
- The writer should ensure that all country names are used without 'the' before them (e.g., 'Norway', 'Iceland', 'Germany', 'Australia').
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