axiom

Renewable energy share: IELTS Task 1 answer #3, band 6.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

248 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Renewable energy share (IELTS Task 1 bar chart)2000, 2004, 2007 for Australia, Germany, Norway, Iceland, in % of total energy supply. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.020406080AustraliaGermanyNorwayIceland
Renewable energy share (IELTS Task 1 bar chart)2000, 2004, 2007 for Australia, Germany, Norway, Iceland, in % of total energy supply. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.020406080AustraliaGermanyNorwayIceland
Values in % of total energy supply. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Renewable energy share (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (% of total energy supply)
200020042007
Australia9109
Germany121618
Norway626678
Iceland525956

Academic Task 1248 words

The bar chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy of total supply in 2000, 2004, and 2007.

The bar charts illustrates the proportion of renewable energy of total supply in four different countries ( Australia, Germany, Norway, and Iceland) in 2000, 2004 and 2007

In brief, the percentage of renewable energy for Germany, Norway, and Iceland increased with the Norway’s showing significantly higher figures. It is also clear that Australia stayed stable over the period in question

Norway and Iceland showed much more bigger figures compared to other categories, Norway consistently had the highest share of renewable energy . It rose slightly in 2004 and reached around 65%. While in Iceland, it had around 50% in 2000 and in 2004 in went up slightly and reached 60% ,however in 2007 in went down a bit and reached around 55%

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn 2000, Norway started at about 60%, which was the highest among all countries.

    Capitalization and sentence structure were corrected.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe percentage of the total supply of renewable energy in Norway increased notably to 80% in 2007.

    Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal; rephrasing improves coherence.

Australia had the smallest share in every year, starting at around 8% in 2000 , and in 2004 a notably increases was seen in the percentage of renewable energy in Australia and reached 10% nevertheless by 2007 Australia decline and remaining below 10% while Germany showed more process, in 2000 the percentage stood at 10% which was higher than Australia but far away from Norway and Iceland.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedIn contrast, Australia and Germany had much lower figures.

    Added a comma for correct punctuation.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedBy 2004, the figures for Germany had risen modestly, and by 2007, they reached nearly 15%.

    Corrected spelling and improved sentence structure for clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear paragraphing and transitions.

Suggestions

  • Use clear paragraphing for each country.
  • Include linking words to improve flow.
  • Summarize key points in a conclusion.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedNorway consistently had the highest share of renewable energy, starting at about 60% in 2000.

    The revision provides a clearer transition between ideas.

  • RevisedThe percentage of the total supply of renewable energy in Norway increased notably to 80% in 2007.

    Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal; rephrasing improves coherence.

  • RevisedBy 2004, the figures for Germany had risen modestly, and by 2007, they reached nearly 15%.

    Corrected spelling and improved sentence structure for clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks complex structures.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn 2000, Norway started at about 60%, which was the highest among all countries.

    Capitalization and sentence structure were corrected.

  • RevisedHowever, in 2007, it went down slightly and reached around 55%.

    Corrected 'in went' to 'it went' and improved sentence structure.

  • RevisedAustralia declined and remained below 10%, while Germany showed more progress.

    Corrected verb tense and word choice for accuracy.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary but includes some errors and informal language.

Sentence revisions 4

  • RevisedNorway and Iceland showed significantly larger figures compared to other countries.

    'Much more bigger' is incorrect; 'significantly larger' is more precise.

  • RevisedAustralia had the smallest share each year, starting at around 8% in 2000, and in 2004, a notable increase was seen.

    Corrected 'notably increases' to 'notable increase' for grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedBy 2004, the figures for Germany had risen modestly.

    Corrected 'rise modesty' to 'risen modestly' for grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedIn contrast, Australia and Germany had much lower figures.

    Added a comma for correct punctuation.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some data is inaccurately reported.

Suggestions

  • Provide more detailed analysis of trends.
  • Ensure data is accurately reported from the chart.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free