Individuals and the environment: IELTS Task 2 essay #5, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
406 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 June 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2406 words
Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference. Others say that individuals can help to protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
with
Lexical resource
RevisedThe debate over environmental protection has become broadly controversial
The correct spelling is 'controversial'.
some saying that individual approach does not make sense, while others arguing
that it is the individuals that contribute greatly to the conservation of the
environment. In my opinion, although government should be the accountable for
conducting protecting projects by launching several paid projects and rising
awareness by providing educational campaigns, small steps taken by ordinary
people are crucial to protect it.
One of the main reasons individual help cannot make a difference is that very
few people understand the importance of preserving nature and the majority put
this burden on government's shoulder. Various group work programs can be
applied by the authority to take steps into environmental preservation. Cleaning a
particular beach can be a case in point. IMany people are willing to take part in
these protection initiatives, if payment is involved. this can help to not only
protect the nature, but also create job that allows people to cover their daily
neccessities.
Nother compelling reason for government involvement in such activities is that
they can rise public awareness to protect the nature. Several educational
campaigns can be introduced to the people to teach how it is essential to
preserve natural resources an not to damage them, which can be done through
TV, social media or other street boardcasts. This might have a potential impact
on lager audince and drive them to change their behaviours and take actions.
However, governments initiatives are not enough to reach environmental thrive.
Changing everyday choices makes a big difference. For example, if people go for
paper bags instead of plastic ones, this can lead to fewer plastic waste. Another
minor, but important step can be throwing away litter to its special bins which are
seperated by their type, such as plastic, paper or glass.
People need to understand that individual actions can trigger in other people the
same feelings towards environmentally-friendly actions. Exemplifying a persone,
who is seen how they are taking other people's remains, it can create in others
that they can also do the same to preserve their nature. This in turn, proves that
ordinary residents are able to make infruence in favor of environment.
In conclusion, while government can make a clear improvement in terms of
environmental conservation, I beleive that if people take small actions by altering
their daily choices and being a specimen for others can make a great difference
towards the environment.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay is well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., "One of the main reasons," "However," "In conclusion"). To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and clearly connected to each other and to your main argument.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the main reasons it is argued that individuals cannot make a difference is that very few people understand the importance of preserving nature, with the majority placing this burden on the government's shoulders.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more logical explanation of the idea.
RevisedAnother compelling reason for government involvement in such activities is that they can raise public awareness about the need to protect the environment.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses the correct phrase 'raise public awareness'.
RevisedPeople need to understand that their individual actions can inspire others to adopt environmentally-friendly behaviors.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise, and uses the word 'inspire' which is more appropriate in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. Your essay displays a good range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types and effective use of passive voice. There are some minor errors and awkward phrasings that could be refined for clarity and precision. For instance, "it is the individuals that contribute greatly to the conservation of the environment" could be more accurately phrased as "individuals can contribute significantly to environmental conservation." Paying close attention to article use, preposition use, and sentence construction will help improve grammatical accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my opinion, although the government should be accountable for conducting protection projects and raising awareness through educational campaigns, small steps taken by ordinary people are crucial to protecting the environment.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and is more natural and clear.
RevisedMany people are willing to take part in these protection initiatives if they are offered payment.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and is more natural and clear.
RevisedSeveral educational campaigns could be introduced to the public to teach the importance of preserving natural resources and not damaging them, which could be done through television, social media, or other street broadcasts.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and is more natural and clear.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with a variety of terms related to environmental protection (e.g., "conservation," "educational campaigns," "environmental thrive"). To further enhance your lexical resource, consider using more varied and precise language to express your ideas more clearly and vividly. Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure accuracy and appropriateness.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe debate over environmental protection has become broadly controversial
The correct spelling is 'controversial'.
RevisedOne of the main reasons individual efforts may not make a significant difference is that very few people understand the importance of preserving nature, with the majority placing this burden on the government's shoulders.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses the word 'efforts' instead of 'help', and 'significant difference' instead of 'make a difference'.
RevisedThis in turn, proves that ordinary residents are able to make an impact in favor of the environment.
The correct phrase is 'make an impact'.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have addressed the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion. Your introduction clearly outlines the debate, and you provide relevant arguments for each side. You have supported your opinions with relevant examples and explanations, which helps to engage the reader and provide a clear and well-rounded argument. To further enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points and make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
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