Water use in six countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #5, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
201 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The table this answer describes
| Domestic | Agricultural | Industrial | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Australia | 341 | 741 | 276 |
| Canada | 279 | 1,238 | 832 |
| China | 26 | 806 | 71 |
| Russia | 98 | 1,863 | 56 |
| Turkey | 80 | 1,482 | 731 |
| UK | 38 | 810 | 398 |
Academic Task 1201 words
The table gives information about water use in three sectors in six different countries.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe table presents the volume of water used for domestic, agricultural, and industrial purposes in six countries, measured in cubic meters (m³).
Replaced 'illustrates' with 'presents' for variety.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, agricultural usage dominates in all countries except for the UK and Canada, where industrial consumption is higher.
The revision clarifies the exception by directly linking the countries to the type of consumption.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedRussia records the highest agricultural water usage, whereas China has the lowest domestic and industrial consumption.
Used 'whereas' to show contrast more clearly.
Agricultural water consumption is by far the most significant in Russia (1,863 m³), followed by Turkey (1,482 m³) and Canada (1,238 m³).
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAustralia leads in domestic use with 341 m³, followed by Canada at 279 m³.
Rephrased for more direct comparison.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn contrast, China and the UK have the lowest figures at 26 m³ and 38 m³, respectively.
Used 'in contrast' to vary the language.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe UK and China exhibit moderate agricultural use, both slightly above 800 m³.
Replaced 'show' with 'exhibit' for variety.
Lexical resource
RevisedRegarding industrial water usage, Canada records the highest at 832 m³, closely followed by Turkey at 731 m³ and the UK at 398 m³.
Rephrased for clarity and precision.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn contrast, Russia and China allocate minimal water to industry, at just 56 m³ and 71 m³, respectively.
Added a comma for correct punctuation.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe data highlights significant variation in water usage patterns, with agricultural needs prevailing in most countries, while industrial use is more prominent in developed nations like Canada and the UK.
Clarified the statement by specifying the countries where industrial use is prominent.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. However, some comparisons could be more explicitly linked to enhance coherence.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure all comparisons are clearly stated.
- Summarize key points effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, agricultural usage dominates in all countries except for the UK and Canada, where industrial consumption is higher.
The revision clarifies the exception by directly linking the countries to the type of consumption.
RevisedAustralia leads in domestic use with 341 m³, followed by Canada at 279 m³.
Rephrased for more direct comparison.
RevisedThe data highlights significant variation in water usage patterns, with agricultural needs prevailing in most countries, while industrial use is more prominent in developed nations like Canada and the UK.
Clarified the statement by specifying the countries where industrial use is prominent.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedRussia records the highest agricultural water usage, whereas China has the lowest domestic and industrial consumption.
Used 'whereas' to show contrast more clearly.
RevisedThe UK and China exhibit moderate agricultural use, both slightly above 800 m³.
Replaced 'show' with 'exhibit' for variety.
RevisedIn contrast, Russia and China allocate minimal water to industry, at just 56 m³ and 71 m³, respectively.
Added a comma for correct punctuation.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precise terms related to the topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe table presents the volume of water used for domestic, agricultural, and industrial purposes in six countries, measured in cubic meters (m³).
Replaced 'illustrates' with 'presents' for variety.
RevisedIn contrast, China and the UK have the lowest figures at 26 m³ and 38 m³, respectively.
Used 'in contrast' to vary the language.
RevisedRegarding industrial water usage, Canada records the highest at 832 m³, closely followed by Turkey at 731 m³ and the UK at 398 m³.
Rephrased for clarity and precision.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and relevant details.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
- Provide a more detailed summary of key trends.
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