How recycled paper is made: IELTS Task 1 answer #1, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
180 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 May 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The process this answer describes
- Making pulp Used paper is dumped from crates/containers and combined with water and chemicals to create unfiltered pulp.
- Filtering The unfiltered pulp passes through a filter into a container below.
- Cleaning Air, along with water and soap, is added to the mixture in a tank; ink is separated/removed via an outlet pipe/chute, leaving cleaned pulp.
- Making paper The pulp is mixed with water & chemicals, then poured onto a conveyor belt where it passes through heated rollers to squeeze out water; the resulting sheet is rolled into rolls of recycled paper.
Academic Task 1180 words
The diagram below illustrates how recycled paper is made.
The diagram shows the production of recycled paper. Overall, the process consists of four distinct stages: making pulp, filtering, cleaning, and making paper.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt should also be noted that a significant amount of water is utilised in all stages of the process, bar filtering, making the production of recycled paper water-intensive.
Transition words can be used more effectively to enhance coherence.
To begin with, used paper is put onto the conveyor belt, by which it is moved to the special vessel. There, the paper is blended with water and chemicals. It then again passes through the step, where it is cleaned with water and chemicals.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe resultant mix, known as unfiltered pulp, is subsequently subjected to filtration.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary whilst maintaining its original meaning.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn the subsequent stage of cleaning, the filtered pulp is mixed with water and soap and aerated, leading to the extraction of the ink from the substance.
Use of more apt words and revised structure enhances the overall grammar quality of the sentence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOnce the stages of pulping and cleanliness have been completed, the substance is deposited on a conveyor belt fitted with heated rollers.
The revised sentence uses more varied lexical items and enhances the flow of information.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe material is transformed into paper as it passes through the rollers, after which it is shaped into rolls fit for sale.
More sophisticated vocabulary enhances the academic tone of the essay.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is well-structured and the information is organized effectively. Logical use of sequencing terms such as 'to begin with', 'then', 'after what' ensures the reader's comprehension but there is slight mishap in continuation in few sentences.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and linking words.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedIt should also be noted that a significant amount of water is utilised in all stages of the process, bar filtering, making the production of recycled paper water-intensive.
Transition words can be used more effectively to enhance coherence.
RevisedOnce the stages of pulping and cleanliness have been completed, the substance is deposited on a conveyor belt fitted with heated rollers.
The revised sentence uses more varied lexical items and enhances the flow of information.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
Good use of a range of grammatical structures and sentence forms. There are minor errors but they do not impede understanding.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedAs it passes through the rollers, the substance is transformed into paper, after which it is rolled and prepared for sale.
The revised sentence corrects the minor grammatical error and provides a more accurate usage of prepositions.
RevisedIn the subsequent stage of cleaning, the filtered pulp is mixed with water and soap and aerated, leading to the extraction of the ink from the substance.
Use of more apt words and revised structure enhances the overall grammar quality of the sentence.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
Adequate range of vocabulary is used, however, there is room for using a more academic tone and varied expressions.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe resultant mix, known as unfiltered pulp, is subsequently subjected to filtration.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary whilst maintaining its original meaning.
RevisedThe material is transformed into paper as it passes through the rollers, after which it is shaped into rolls fit for sale.
More sophisticated vocabulary enhances the academic tone of the essay.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The task accurately describes the key stages of the process. It includes all necessary details.
Suggestions
- Try to include more detailed explanations of the process.
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