Reasons for absence from work: IELTS Task 1 answer #2, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

188 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Values in % of respondents. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Reasons for absence from work (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (% of respondents)
	2000	2005	2010
Illness	44	40	35
Stress	6	4	12
Personal needs	13.5	20	23
Family responsibilities	27.5	26	26
Unexpected problems	8	14	13

Academic Task 1188 words

Task 1. The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years of 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work.

The bar chart illustrates the reasons for not going to work in a certain European country between 2000 and 2010. Units are measured in percentages.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThe bar chart illustrates the reasons for absenteeism in a specific European country from 2000 to 2010.
Improved grammatical precision and clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe data is presented in percentage terms.
Varied expression to avoid repetition.

Overall, it can be seen that illnesses and family responsibilities are the main two reasons, while the reverse was true for stress.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, illnesses and family responsibilities were the predominant reasons, whereas stress was the least common.
Used varied vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision.

In 2010, the percentage of absent workers due to disease was the highest at 45%, followed by family duties that stood at just under 35%. In the next 5 years, sickness proportions experienced a significant decline to 40%, further decreased by 5%, whereas figures for family responsibilities dropped to approximately 23% and remained stable in the final year.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn the next five years, the proportion of sickness-related absenteeism declined significantly to 40% and further decreased by 5% by 2010. In contrast, family responsibilities dropped to approximately 23% and remained stable in the final year.
Clarified the timeline and improved sentence structure for better coherence.

In contrast, the proportion of employees skipped work day because of personal needs and unexpected problems was lower, accounting for 15% and 10%, respectively. In the subsequent 5-year period, both witnessed substantial increases; the former rose to about 22% before decreasing to 20% at the end of the timeframe, and the latter jumped to 17% and stayed constant. The percentage of employees absent due to stress was the lowest, made up just above 5%; this figure increased dramatically to around 14% in 2010.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn contrast, the proportion of employees skipping work due to personal needs and unexpected problems was lower, at 15% and 10%, respectively.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn the following five-year period, both categories saw substantial increases; personal needs rose to about 22% before decreasing to 20% by the end of the timeframe, while unexpected problems increased to 17% and remained constant.
Clarified sentence structure for better grammatical accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe percentage of employees absent due to stress was the lowest, at just above 5%, but this figure increased dramatically to around 14% by 2010.
Clarified the progression over time for better coherence.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical flow of information. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions

Use linking words to improve flow.
Ensure consistent referencing of data.
Clarify comparisons between years.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn the next five years, the proportion of sickness-related absenteeism declined significantly to 40% and further decreased by 5% by 2010. In contrast, family responsibilities dropped to approximately 23% and remained stable in the final year.
Clarified the timeline and improved sentence structure for better coherence.
RevisedIn contrast, the proportion of employees skipping work due to personal needs and unexpected problems was lower, at 15% and 10%, respectively.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedThe percentage of employees absent due to stress was the lowest, at just above 5%, but this figure increased dramatically to around 14% by 2010.
Clarified the progression over time for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures used accurately. Some minor errors are present but do not impede understanding.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe bar chart illustrates the reasons for absenteeism in a specific European country from 2000 to 2010.
Improved grammatical precision and clarity.
RevisedIn the following five-year period, both categories saw substantial increases; personal needs rose to about 22% before decreasing to 20% by the end of the timeframe, while unexpected problems increased to 17% and remained constant.
Clarified sentence structure for better grammatical accuracy.
RevisedThe percentage of employees absent due to stress was the lowest, at just above 5%, and this figure increased dramatically to around 14% by 2010.
Improved sentence structure for grammatical accuracy.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary accurately. Some expressions could be more varied to enhance the lexical resource.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe data is presented in percentage terms.
Varied expression to avoid repetition.
RevisedOverall, illnesses and family responsibilities were the predominant reasons, whereas stress was the least common.
Used varied vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision.
RevisedConversely, the proportion of employees absent due to personal needs and unexpected issues was lower, accounting for 15% and 10%, respectively.
Improved vocabulary choice for clarity and precision.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons of the data. All key features are covered.

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