Reasons for absence from work: IELTS Task 1 answer #3, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

251 words. Marked by Axiom on 27 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Values in % of respondents. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Reasons for absence from work (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (% of respondents)
	2000	2005	2010
Illness	44	40	35
Stress	6	4	12
Personal needs	13.5	20	23
Family responsibilities	27.5	26	26
Unexpected problems	8	14	13

Academic Task 1251 words

The chart shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work .

The bar graph gives information about three distinct type of surveys results on absenteeism and workers reasons for why they were not going to go in certain one European country from 2000 till 2010.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe bar graph provides information about the results of three distinct surveys on absenteeism and the reasons workers gave for not attending work in a particular European country from 2000 to 2010.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and corrects grammatical errors.

Overall, figures witnessed growth in 3 reasons except for illness and family responsibilities it is worth noting that people more tend to do absenteeism because of their illnesses in all 3 years while workers less attend to work because of stress that is the lowest figure in whole span.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, most reasons for absenteeism increased, except for illness and family responsibilities. Notably, illness was the most common reason for absenteeism across all three years, while stress was the least common.
The revision improves clarity and flow by breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences.

When it comes to people's ilness reason , it's share dropped significantly from about 45 in 200 till 35 in 2010 despite the downward trend it was and remained the dominant among 5 figures. As for stress, it's figure experienced a slight drop from 2000 to 2005 with respective 7 and 4 . After that It grew dramatically to 13 in 2010.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe share of absenteeism due to illness dropped significantly from about 45% in 2000 to 35% in 2010. Despite this downward trend, it remained the dominant reason among the five categories.
The revision corrects word choice and grammatical errors.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedRegarding stress, its figure slightly decreased from 7 in 2000 to 4 in 2005, before dramatically increasing to 13 in 2010.
The revision enhances clarity by providing a logical sequence of events.

With regard to personal needs like appointments, it showed 10 % hike beginning with 14 and ending with 24 % over the period under discussion. Moreover, there was a downward trend in family responsibilities figure from initial year to 2005 (the former- 28 , the latter - 25 ) and remained more or less the same at 25 until the end of the year. Although it si not noticeable change, there was a increase in the share of people with unexpected problems such as transport, weather and others in 2000 and thus was followed by a stagnation with at around 13 time frame overer 10 years

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedAdditionally, there was a downward trend in the figure for family responsibilities from the initial year to 2005 (28 to 25), which remained relatively stable at 25 until 2010.
The revision uses more appropriate vocabulary and improves clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAlthough the change was not noticeable, there was an increase in the share of people citing unexpected problems such as transport and weather in 2000, followed by stagnation at around 13% over the next 10 years.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and improves readability.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay lacks clear structure and logical flow. Transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the overall organization is weak.

Suggestions

Organize the essay into clear paragraphs.
Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Summarize the key points effectively.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, most reasons for absenteeism increased, except for illness and family responsibilities. Notably, illness was the most common reason for absenteeism across all three years, while stress was the least common.
The revision improves clarity and flow by breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences.
RevisedRegarding stress, its figure slightly decreased from 7 in 2000 to 4 in 2005, before dramatically increasing to 13 in 2010.
The revision enhances clarity by providing a logical sequence of events.
RevisedAlthough the change was not noticeable, there was an increase in the share of people citing unexpected problems such as transport and weather in 2000, followed by stagnation at around 13% over the next 10 years.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and improves readability.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, affecting clarity and readability.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, most reasons for absenteeism increased, except for illness and family responsibilities. Notably, illness was the most common reason for absenteeism across all three years, while stress was the least common.
The revision corrects run-on sentences and improves clarity.
RevisedThe share of absenteeism due to illness dropped significantly from about 45% in 2000 to 35% in 2010. Despite this downward trend, it remained the dominant reason among the five categories.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and improves sentence structure.
RevisedAlthough the change was not noticeable, there was an increase in the share of people citing unexpected problems such as transport and weather in 2000, followed by stagnation at around 13% over the next 10 years.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition. There are occasional errors in word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe bar graph provides information about the results of three distinct surveys on absenteeism and the reasons workers gave for not attending work in a particular European country from 2000 to 2010.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and corrects grammatical errors.
RevisedAdditionally, there was a downward trend in the figure for family responsibilities from the initial year to 2005 (28 to 25), which remained relatively stable at 25 until 2010.
The revision uses more appropriate vocabulary and improves clarity.
RevisedThe share of absenteeism due to illness dropped significantly from about 45% in 2000 to 35% in 2010. Despite this downward trend, it remained the dominant reason among the five categories.
The revision corrects word choice and grammatical errors.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in analysis and some key data points are not clearly explained.

Suggestions

Include more detailed analysis of the data.
Ensure all key data points are clearly explained.
Summarize the main trends effectively.

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