Reasons for absence from work: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
202 words. Marked by Axiom on 22 July 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 2000 | 2005 | 2010 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Illness | 44 | 40 | 35 |
| Stress | 6 | 4 | 12 |
| Personal needs | 13.5 | 20 | 23 |
| Family responsibilities | 27.5 | 26 | 26 |
| Unexpected problems | 8 | 14 | 13 |
Academic Task 1202 words
The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work.
The bar chart compares five distinct reasons for absenteeism in one European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010.
Overall, while the most common reason was illness throughout the period, the reverse was true for stress making it the least common cause for not going to work.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMoreover, personal needs and unexpected problems generally show an upward trend, whereas family responsibilities display a slight decline.
This revision clarifies the comparison and improves sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedFocusing first on illness, it started at just under 45% in 2000 and gradually declined to 35% by 2010.
Simplifies and clarifies the description, avoiding repetition.
Lexical resource
RevisedBy contrast, stress as a reason for absenteeism increased overall, from just over 5% in 2000 to around 13% in 2010, despite a slight dip to 4% in 2005.
Improves word choice and accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTurning to the remaining causes, personal needs grew steadily from 14% in 2000 to 23% in 2010. In contrast, family responsibilities started at about 27% in 2000, decreased slightly to 25% in 2005, and then remained stable.
Breaking up the sentence improves clarity and coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSimilarly, the percentage of people citing unexpected problems, such as transport and weather, increased from 9% in 2000 to 14% in 2005 before slipping back to 13% in 2010.
Corrected the years and clarified the trend for better coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized with a clear overview and body paragraphs that group information effectively. However, some sentences are overly long or awkwardly structured, which affects the flow slightly. There are minor issues with referencing and paragraphing.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
- Break up long sentences for clarity.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMoreover, personal needs and unexpected problems generally show an upward trend, whereas family responsibilities display a slight decline.
This revision clarifies the comparison and improves sentence structure.
RevisedTurning to the remaining causes, personal needs grew steadily from 14% in 2000 to 23% in 2010. In contrast, family responsibilities started at about 27% in 2000, decreased slightly to 25% in 2005, and then remained stable.
Breaking up the sentence improves clarity and coherence.
RevisedSimilarly, the percentage of people citing unexpected problems, such as transport and weather, increased from 9% in 2000 to 14% in 2005 before slipping back to 13% in 2010.
Corrected the years and clarified the trend for better coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
There is a range of sentence structures, but some sentences are overly complex or contain minor grammatical errors. Occasional awkward phrasing affects clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIllness started at just under 45% in 2000 and gradually decreased to 35% by 2010.
Simplifies the sentence and corrects awkward phrasing.
RevisedIn contrast, stress as a reason increased overall, rising from just over 5% in 2000 to about 13% in 2010, although it fell slightly to 4% in 2005.
Improves sentence structure and accuracy.
RevisedSimilarly, the percentage of people citing unexpected problems, such as transport and weather, increased from 9% in 2000 to 14% in 2005, then slipped back to 13% in 2010.
Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the trend.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied, with some good use of synonyms and descriptive language. However, there are minor inaccuracies and awkward phrases.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFocusing first on illness, it started at just under 45% in 2000 and gradually declined to 35% by 2010.
Simplifies and clarifies the description, avoiding repetition.
RevisedBy contrast, stress as a reason for absenteeism increased overall, from just over 5% in 2000 to around 13% in 2010, despite a slight dip to 4% in 2005.
Improves word choice and accuracy.
RevisedSimilarly, the proportion of people citing unexpected problems, such as transport and weather, rose from 9% in 2000 to 14% in 2005, before falling slightly to 13% in 2010.
Uses more precise vocabulary and corrects the years.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses all key features of the chart, provides a clear overview, and includes relevant data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the reporting of figures and years, and some comparisons could be clearer.
Suggestions
- Double-check data and years for accuracy.
- Make comparisons between categories more explicit.
- Summarize main trends more concisely.
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