Small homes without outdoor space: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 8.0

Nowadays, with the urbanization of the population, individuals start to live in small apartments without enough space, which has some positives for personal properties. However, this trend has created enormous obstacles in individuals’ lives relating to their personal well-being and health problems.

To begin with the positive aspects of small residents, affordability stands as a cornerstone in addressing the ever-growing housing demands within urban landscapes. So, smaller homes are often more affordable, allowing a larger population to access housing that occupies less land, allowing for more efficient use of available space. Such residents result in lower costs. Therefore, maintenance costs are also typically lower for smaller homes, as there is less exterior to maintain and fewer rooms that may lead to improved financial stability and reduced stress related to housing expenses. Another aspect is related to the resource efficiency, which has great positives for the environment, the government, and also for the owners of residents by having a smaller volume to heat or cool. Additionally, water efficiency is important, so smaller homes often come with smaller plumbing systems that help to avoid water waste.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedTo begin with, the positive aspect of small residences is their affordability, which addresses the ever-growing housing demands within urban landscapes.

   The revised sentence is more clear and direct in stating the main idea.

By contrast, one of the most harmful aspects for small residents in urban areas is personal health issues, including physical and mental health problems. In other words, without outdoor spaces, residents may have fewer opportunities for physical activities such as walking, jogging, or playing sports. And it’s also true that nature has positive calming effects on the human mind; hence, the lack of outdoor spaces may lead to higher stress levels, increased anxiety, and physical inactivity that are associated with various health issues, including obesity, cardiovascular problems, and muscular and skeletal disorders. On this basis, small living spaces may restrict the quality of life, limiting personal freedom and comfort. The absence of outdoor spaces can diminish the quality of life for individuals. Physical and mental health is integral components of a person’s well-being, and when compromised, they can affect daily functioning, relationships, and overall life satisfaction.

1. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedOn the other hand, a significant drawback of small residences in urban areas is their impact on personal health, including physical and mental issues.

   The revised sentence is more clear and direct in expressing the idea.

2. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedOn the basis of the previous arguments, it can be said that small living spaces may restrict the quality of life by limiting personal freedom and comfort.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer connection to the previous arguments and makes the point more effectively.

3. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedThe lack of outdoor spaces can diminish the quality of life for individuals.

   The revised sentence is more appropriate in this context.

In conclusion, despite the positive opportunities of living with small residents in urban areas like affordability and resource efficiency, personal health stands on the 1st place. Likewise, these types of residents might multiply the risk of various health problems mentioned above by limiting personal freedom, comfort, and outdoor space.

1. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedIn conclusion, despite the positive aspects of living in small residences in urban areas such as affordability and resource efficiency, personal health should be the primary concern.

   The revised sentence is more clear and natural in expressing the idea.