Saving money for the future: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.0

It is often argued that everyone, including young people, should save money for their future. I largely agree with this view because having some savings can provide financial security and help young people achieve important goals, although they should not be expected to sacrifice their present lives completely.

First of all, saving money from a young age can help people deal with unexpected financial problems. Young adults may have to pay for education, medical treatment or other necessary expenses, and having savings can reduce their dependence on their parents or loans. For example, if a student saves a small amount of money every month, they may eventually have enough to pay for a laptop or educational course without borrowing money. Therefore, developing this habit early can make people more financially independent.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFor instance, a student accumulating a monthly savings could potentially amass sufficient funds to procure a laptop or enroll in an educational course without the necessity of incurring debt.

   The revision provides a more complex and formal sentence structure to express the same idea.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedTherefore, the early development of this habit can enhance financial independence.

   The revision provides a more sophisticated and formal expression of the idea.

Another reason why saving is important is that it allows young people to plan for major future expenses. As people get older, they may want to buy a house, start a business or continue their education, all of which require considerable amounts of money. If young people develop good financial habits early, they will be in a better position to fullfil these goals. Moreover, if they regularly put aside part of their income, they may gradually build a significant amount of savings.

1. Lexical resource

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   Revisedthey might aspire to purchase a dwelling, initiate a venture, or further their studies, all of which necessitate significant financial outlay.

   The revision uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedTimely cultivation of robust financial habits positions young individuals more favorably to actualize these aspirations.

   The revision uses a more formal and academic tone and includes less common lexis.

However, I do not believe that young people should focus entirely on saving. They also need to spend money on education, social activities and experiences, which can contribute to their personal development. If someone saves every penny and avoids spending money on anything enjoyable, this could negatively affect their quality of lifestyle.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedA strict regimen of saving every penny and avoiding all expenditure on enjoyment could potentially detriment one's quality of life.

   The revision provides a more formal and academic expression of the idea.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that saving money is an important habit for young people because it provides financial security and helps them prepare for future goals. Nevertheless, they should maintain a reasonable balance between saving for the future and enjoying their present lives.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn conclusion, I am a proponent of the belief that monetary saving is a pivotal habit for the youth, as it furnishes not only financial security but also aids in the preparation for future aspirations.

   The revision provides a more complex and formal sentence structure to express the same idea.