Saving money for the future: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
344 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2344 words
It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the world that we live in today, money plays a vital role not only for young people but also for everyone to live well in the future. While there are several reasons to spend more money, I strongly believe saving money takes priority when unexpected things come up.
For example, every person find a difficult to save money because of family expenses.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, there are instances where we need to spend more money than we had originally planned.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne compelling reason to spend money is to occasionally provide for additional needs, especially when you are a parent.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis is largely due to being the sole provider for expenses like transportation, groceries, and children's needs, which can hinder saving efforts.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother reason to sometimes prioritize spending over saving is that there are moments when we need to cover unexpected expenses, such as when a family member is sick, which can be a significant financial burden.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise explanation.
On the other hand, saving money for the future holds the upper hand in achieving your targets through this method. One compelling reason to agree with this statement is that saving money can lead to achieving your dream, which is almost impossible to reach in a short period of time. This is because you do not have enough money to buy it, which is the only real reason for this idea. According to recent research that was carried out by Oxford University, scientists said that about 76% of people are capable of reaching their goals related to money over a long period of time by saving money for at least 1 year, such as a car, a house, and other items that have high costs.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while there are instances where we must spend money unexpectedly, I maintain that saving money is crucial for achieving our goals and is more beneficial in the long run than other small expenditures.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but some body paragraphs could be more fully developed. Transitions between ideas and sentences are generally well-handled, but there are a few instances where they could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, there are instances where we need to spend more money than we had originally planned.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more clarity.
RevisedAnother reason to sometimes prioritize spending over saving is that there are moments when we need to cover unexpected expenses, such as when a family member is sick, which can be a significant financial burden.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise explanation.
RevisedIn conclusion, while there are instances where we must spend money unexpectedly, I maintain that saving money is crucial for achieving our goals and is more beneficial in the long run than other small expenditures.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne compelling reason to spend money is that, especially if you are a parent, you should sometimes provide for extra needs within the family.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction.
RevisedAnother reason to sometimes prioritize spending over saving is that there are moments when we should incur expenses, such as when a family member is sick and unexpected medical costs arise.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and uses more natural phrasing.
RevisedIn conclusion, although there are instances where we must spend money without hesitation, I firmly believe that saving money is a powerful method to achieve our goals, which is likely to yield greater returns than other small expenditures.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and uses more natural phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne compelling reason to spend money is to occasionally provide for additional needs, especially when you are a parent.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
RevisedThis is largely due to being the sole provider for expenses like transportation, groceries, and children's needs, which can hinder saving efforts.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the necessity of unplanned expenditures, I strongly believe that saving money is a powerful tool in achieving our goals, which is likely to yield greater returns than other small expenditures.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are generally well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused, and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make it more concise and focused.
- Consider revising the conclusion to make it more comprehensive.
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