Problems caused by cars: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
290 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2290 words
TASK 2: Many people depend on their cars for everyday domestic, social and working needs. However, unlimited use of cars causes a number of problems. What are some of these problems? What can be done to reduce the use of them?
Overall, the frequent use of car in numerous ways and even for domestic needs has a quite significant effect on daily live.
Lexical resource
RevisedMost people are really dependent on their cars for all types of uses and needs.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Lexical resource
RevisedAlthough it is unfortunate, it is the truth.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe unlimited use of cars in this way may lead to unfortunate consequences in people's lives.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and the misuse of 'living', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
As soon as people use their transport for every types of needings, it can cause plenty of illnesses which is quite undesirable. Like even paralysing could come to people's health state, making them paralyzed because of the miserable amount of use of their physyque power.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe main problems of using cars can lead to obvious issues such as laziness and weight gain.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Lexical resource
RevisedIt can hinder an individual's health recovery and there is a risk of becoming addicted to car use.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
To reduce the need for car to get to the destination, there is some variative ways with a public alternatives such as buses, railway transports or maybe even bicycles. First of all people need a strong motivation to push themselves into it and do not make any compromises to loosen the discipline.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe solution is simple, yet requires slight adaptation.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe addiction to cars could be addressed in several ways, such as incorporating more walking into your daily routine or even taking tours on foot.
The revised sentence corrects the misuse of 'addiction' and 'plenty', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWalking can be a bit hard and intolerable, but the effect is totally worth it.
The revised sentence corrects the misuse of 'hard and untolerant', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedA physical connection with nature is crucial. Regular walking or light fitness running in the early morning or evening requires strong motivation and a sense of responsibility for one's life.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear final thought.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe main problems of using cars can lead to obvious issues such as laziness and weight gain.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
RevisedThe solution is simple, yet requires slight adaptation.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
RevisedA physical connection with nature is crucial. Regular walking or light fitness running in the early morning or evening requires strong motivation and a sense of responsibility for one's life.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but they do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall interest of the text. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help convey the ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe unlimited use of cars in this way may lead to unfortunate consequences in people's lives.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and the misuse of 'living', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
RevisedThe addiction to cars could be addressed in several ways, such as incorporating more walking into your daily routine or even taking tours on foot.
The revised sentence corrects the misuse of 'addiction' and 'plenty', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
RevisedWalking can be a bit hard and intolerable, but the effect is totally worth it.
The revised sentence corrects the misuse of 'hard and untolerant', improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help convey the ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMost people are really dependent on their cars for all types of uses and needs.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
RevisedAlthough it is unfortunate, it is the truth.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
RevisedIt can hinder an individual's health recovery and there is a risk of becoming addicted to car use.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear, improving the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of ideas could be more fully supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems associated with the excessive use of cars and suggesting potential solutions. The writer takes a clear position and maintains it throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas could be more fully supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to fully support the development of your ideas.
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final thought.
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