Problems caused by cars: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
405 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2405 words
Many people depend on their cars for everyday domestic, social and working needs. However, unlimited use of cars causes a number of problems. What are some of these problems? What can be done to reduce the use of them?
Nowadays,many people depand on their cars for the basic needs like transportaion and social status
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedbut it comes with a number of consequences, which I will list and provide examples from my experience in this essay.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the clarity.
First of all,using cars without any red lines can cause some problems to the citizens of our government.If we exploit riding cars without considering the fact that there are people who are working and are rushing to the work or even to the hospital,it may lead to the disaster in their lives.Therefore,Secondly,another example can be noice,this particular problem is the reason why we moved to the village.Noice that cars produce can affect humans when it comes to having some rest after the hard day or just wanting to have entertaining conversation with your friends or parents after that the noice from some truck disturbs you.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn my opinion, the most significant problem is traffic.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Lexical resource
RevisedI remember the time when my father and I were rushing to the hospital to see our grandmother and encountered significant traffic delays.
The revised sentence corrects the grammar and uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
RevisedOur journey was delayed by a whole two hours.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, I lived in the city for about two years before moving to the countryside, and one of the reasons I left the city was the noise from traffic.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and the spelling error.
The solution to these problems exits,our government can place noice meters and make fee to the cars that are too loud or just ban them in the areas where highly concentrated people live like cities.As an example,I think it would be great to place some noice meters and announce fee to the trucks that make too much noise,I believe the best placess are public ones like museums or resturants.When it comes to traffic problem,the solution could be making riding cars not bing in their favor and instead make them focuse on the sports.As an example,our country could make the law that could reduce the time of using the cars under the certain age which could lead to young people switching from cars some other casual hobbies and to make things more interesting our government could make some festivals regarding sport in order to make young drivers more interested in sports instead.
In conclusion,even if there are some problems regarding the overuse of the cars,
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI believe that the solutions can be found and implemented effectively, allowing civilians to focus on more entertaining hobbies.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the introduction could better outline the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, affecting the overall coherence. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my opinion, the most significant problem is traffic.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
RevisedThe government can implement solutions to these problems, such as placing noise meters, charging fees for excessively loud cars, or even banning them in densely populated areas such as cities.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
RevisedIn conclusion, the problems associated with the overuse of cars can be addressed through effective solutions, allowing civilians to focus on more entertaining hobbies.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. For example, "me and my father" should be "my father and I," and "noice meters" should be "noise meters." The essay also contains some errors in verb tense and agreement. Overall, the grammatical range and accuracy are sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but there are some errors that could be addressed.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedbut it comes with a number of consequences, which I will list and provide examples from my experience in this essay.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the clarity.
RevisedFor example, I lived in the city for about two years before moving to the countryside, and one of the reasons I left the city was the noise from traffic.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and the spelling error.
RevisedI believe that the solutions can be found and implemented effectively, allowing civilians to focus on more entertaining hobbies.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay uses a variety of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. For example, "noice" should be "noise," and "exacuted" should be "executed." The essay also uses some less common and idiomatic language, which is mostly used accurately. Overall, the lexical resource is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but there are some errors that could be addressed.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI remember the time when my father and I were rushing to the hospital to see our grandmother and encountered significant traffic delays.
The revised sentence corrects the grammar and uses more precise language.
RevisedOur journey was delayed by a whole two hours.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural.
RevisedOur country could introduce laws to reduce car usage among certain age groups, encouraging young people to pursue other hobbies. Additionally, the government could promote festivals centered around sports, sparking interest in alternative activities.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position and relevant examples. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and reiterating the author's position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion fully summarizes the main points and reiterates the author's position.
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