Mobile phones in public places: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
272 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2272 words
Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
People have different views as to whether mobile phones should be prohibited in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile excessive phone use can sometimes be disturbing to others, I disagree with a complete ban, as mobile phones are useful for communication, navigation, and handling emergencies.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural.
Mobile phones offer different kinds of functions that people can use, so banning them would be unreasonable. In addition to this, phones are useful for checking routes, navigation and contact with their friends, when it comes to changing their plans.
Lexical resource
RevisedA ban on mobile phones by the government or the country could create difficulties in communities.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedPeople may receive emergency calls from family members, colleagues, and friends.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses the verb 'receive' in a more appropriate context.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTherefore, a complete ban on mobile phones seems unreasonable and could lead to inconvenience.
The term 'unweird' is not standard English. The revised sentence uses more appropriate language.
People have different discipline and upbringing. I mean, people have different attitudes. For example some uneducated people watch videos, films, listen to music or audios with loud sound in public places. Libraries can require people to silence or switch off their mobile phones, it is the best way to not disturb other people.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, rather than banning mobile phones in public places, there could be reasonable regulations in place.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, these issues could be addressed by relaxing restrictions on the use of mobile phones, rather than imposing a ban.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
RevisedPeople should be encouraged to respect the privacy of others' phones.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
In conclusion, it sounds a bit strange, banning mobile phones in public places. People have different kinds of situations. They probably have occasions that require them to communicate with their friends or family members.
Lexical resource
RevisedThere are different ways to address these problems, such as introducing restrictions or laws.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and focused. Transitions between ideas and sentences are generally well-handled, but there are a few instances where they could be improved. Overall, the essay is well-organized and the ideas are presented in a clear and logical manner.
Suggestions
- Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph is well-developed and focused on a single main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the other hand, rather than banning mobile phones in public places, there could be reasonable regulations in place.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedTherefore, a complete ban on mobile phones seems unreasonable and could lead to inconvenience.
The term 'unweird' is not standard English. The revised sentence uses more appropriate language.
RevisedHowever, these issues could be addressed by relaxing restrictions on the use of mobile phones, rather than imposing a ban.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with only a few minor errors. Overall, the essay is grammatically accurate and easy to understand.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile excessive phone use can sometimes be disturbing to others, I disagree with a complete ban, as mobile phones are useful for communication, navigation, and handling emergencies.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural.
RevisedPeople may receive emergency calls from family members, colleagues, and friends.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses the verb 'receive' in a more appropriate context.
RevisedPeople likely often find themselves in situations where they need to communicate with friends or family members.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with only a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. Overall, the essay shows a strong command of language and a good understanding of the topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA ban on mobile phones by the government or the country could create difficulties in communities.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedPeople should be encouraged to respect the privacy of others' phones.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
RevisedThere are different ways to address these problems, such as introducing restrictions or laws.
The revised sentence is more clear and uses more precise language.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay provides some relevant examples, but they could be more specific and well-explained. Overall, the essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Make sure that each paragraph fully develops a single main idea.
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