Mobile phones in public places: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
373 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2373 words
Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
Mobile phones have become an inseparable part of a human life while a lot of people believe that public places like libraries, shops and public transport should restrict their use. I agree with this notion for the sake of library goers who love peace, customers and passengers.
The more outsiders or students themselves chat or message via the phone, the more they are likely to be affected, with the former way of using phone being more noisy and disturbing. Talking on the phone concerns not only their users but also the students around, making them neither focus nor learn properly. It is also scientifically proven that study under peaceful environment usually leads to astonishing achievements.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLibraries, being places that prioritize reading, should therefore avoid distractions like noise to ensure optimal productivity.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, phones can be a significant source of the aforementioned distractions, thereby disrupting students' peace and concentration.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedUniversity graduates, for instance, often choose libraries over other places to finish their assignments for this precise reason.
The revised sentence corrects the article use and the plural form of 'graduate'.
For example, although a client who purchases home appliances from a tech store in 20 minutes probably spends triple more thanks to phone calls, which takes up other customer’s time as well.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn crowded market settings, the use of phones can prolong the time people spend shopping.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis leaves little room for other important daily tasks.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf staff were to engage in phone calls or social media activities at work, it would be seen as irresponsible, potentially leading to misunderstandings in the workplace.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
However, as a part of moral compass, passengers, with good common sense, should not take them out.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMoral values, which are crucial in social and professional life, should therefore be given significant importance everywhere.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedPublic transport, such as buses, subways, and trains, is something people encounter on a daily basis.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically accurate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSome cities have banned the use of gadgets in cars, while others still allow the public to keep them nearby.
The revised sentence corrects the subject-verb agreement and improves the clarity of the sentence.
In conclusion, given how avoidance of mobile phones helps different people positively, I firmly believe that public places have a right to ban them.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedLibraries, being places that prioritize reading, should therefore avoid distractions like noise to ensure optimal productivity.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIn crowded market settings, the use of phones can prolong the time people spend shopping.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
RevisedMoral values, which are crucial in social and professional life, should therefore be given significant importance everywhere.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures and is mostly accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedUniversity graduates, for instance, often choose libraries over other places to finish their assignments for this precise reason.
The revised sentence corrects the article use and the plural form of 'graduate'.
RevisedSome cities have banned the use of gadgets in cars, while others still allow the public to keep them nearby.
The revised sentence corrects the subject-verb agreement and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedPublic transport, such as buses, subways, and trains, is something people encounter on a daily basis.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically accurate.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFurthermore, phones can be a significant source of the aforementioned distractions, thereby disrupting students' peace and concentration.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
RevisedThis leaves little room for other important daily tasks.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
RevisedIf staff were to engage in phone calls or social media activities at work, it would be seen as irresponsible, potentially leading to misunderstandings in the workplace.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and restating the position.
Suggestions
- Consider summarizing the key points made in the essay in the conclusion to provide a more effective closure to the argument.
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