History or science at school: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
232 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2232 words
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects.. Other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.
Many people believe that history is the most important subject at the school. However, others argue that nowadays a lot of people prefer science and technology more than history.
Because children like to use and enjoy new technology in their childhood.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn my perspective, science and technology are becoming the most important fields in the world.
The revised sentence is more coherent and grammatically correct.
For example, my best friend Javohir is going to the history course and he thinks it is the most interesting subject. When children learned history, they may well apply for a top university and they may enter the top university. Therefore, history is one of the most important school subjects at school.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, some people argue that history is the most important subject.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clear comparison.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis is because people strive to learn both their own history and foreign history.
The revised sentence uses more accurate and formal vocabulary.
Lexical resource
RevisedHe believes that history is crucial for learning and knowledge enhancement.
The revised sentence uses more accurate and formal vocabulary.
For example, Canada has been improved and this country already achieved their own goal. And history is a modern and well-known subject at the school.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, as the majority of people are learning science and technology, it is becoming more important and is being encouraged because it helps us develop and achieve our goals.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clear contrast.
To conclude, in my opinion, this is the most modern and popular subject at school. When our country reaches the target, the science and technology. However, history subject have a lot of preference and high position.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your overall stance on the issue.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my perspective, science and technology are becoming the most important fields in the world.
The revised sentence is more coherent and grammatically correct.
RevisedOn the one hand, some people argue that history is the most important subject.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clear comparison.
RevisedOn the other hand, as the majority of people are learning science and technology, it is becoming more important and is being encouraged because it helps us develop and achieve our goals.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clear contrast.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can sometimes hinder understanding. These errors need to be addressed to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my perspective, science and technology are becoming the most important fields in the world.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error.
RevisedOn the one hand, some people argue that history is the most important subject.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the statement.
RevisedOn the other hand, as more people are learning science and technology, it is becoming more important and is being encouraged because it helps us develop and achieve our goals.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the statement.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and impact. Additionally, the formal tone is not consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my view, science and technology are becoming the most significant fields in the world.
The revised sentence uses more accurate and formal vocabulary.
RevisedThis is because people strive to learn both their own history and foreign history.
The revised sentence uses more accurate and formal vocabulary.
RevisedHe believes that history is crucial for learning and knowledge enhancement.
The revised sentence uses more accurate and formal vocabulary.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples to provide a more comprehensive and convincing analysis.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your argument.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.
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