History or science at school: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
267 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2267 words
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Others think that in today's world, science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that history should be the main subject in schools, whereas others believe that in the modern era, science and technology-based subjects play a more crucial role, so they should be taught students. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that although learning history can be benificial, scientific subjects can help people be succesful in the future career, as all employers require scientific qualifications from their candidates.
On the one hand, people can develop their problem-solving skills with the assistance of learning history. However, I would argue that, if history become the most important subject in current time, students cannot focus on their academic subjects; as aresult, they cannot join the workforce they wanted.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis is because students learn about the troubles and solutions that took place in the past, which prepares them to tackle similar problems in the future.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a wider range of linking words to connect the ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAs they already know how problems were solved in the past.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the meaning is clearer.
On the other hand, nowadays, technology-based subjects are a key factor leads to successful career.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe main reason is that much of our daily life is related to gadgets and other technological things, so if students are more aware of science and technology, they are more likely to be accepted by employers.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the meaning is clearer.
Lexical resource
RevisedI believe that technology will continuously evolve, so the younger generation needs to enhance their knowledge in these subjects to secure well-paying jobs.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more formal language.
To conclude, both approaches have their own merits. However, I believe that although learning more about history promotes essential skills, particularly problem-solving, physics and technology ultimately contribute to a better future owing to requirment of the digital world.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay is well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "To conclude").
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained in each paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis is because students learn about the troubles and solutions that took place in the past, which prepares them to tackle similar problems in the future.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a wider range of linking words to connect the ideas.
RevisedAs they already know how problems were solved in the past.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the meaning is clearer.
RevisedThe main reason is that much of our daily life is related to gadgets and other technological things, so if students are more aware of science and technology, they are more likely to be accepted by employers.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the meaning is clearer.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay showcases a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed, such as "succesful" which should be "successful," and "as aresult" which should be "as a result." Paying attention to these minor errors can help improve the overall quality of your writing. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences and passive constructions, can help to demonstrate your grammatical range and increase the overall sophistication of your writing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis is because students learn about the troubles and solutions that took place in the past, which prepares them to tackle similar problems.
The revised sentence corrects the verb tense and improves the sentence structure.
RevisedAs they already know how to address problems,
The revised sentence corrects the verb tense and improves the sentence structure.
Revisedso if students become more aware of science and technology, they may be more likely to be accepted by employers.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "problem-solving skills," "crucial role," "digital world," and "high-paid workers." To further improve, consider using more varied and precise language to express your ideas more clearly and effectively. Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure accuracy and appropriateness in context.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis is because students learn about the difficulties and resolutions of past issues.
The revised sentence uses more precise and formal vocabulary.
RevisedCurrently, knowledge of technology-based subjects is a key factor in building a successful career.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more formal language.
RevisedI believe that technology will continuously evolve, so the younger generation needs to enhance their knowledge in these subjects to secure well-paying jobs.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more formal language.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have addressed the task by discussing both perspectives and providing your own opinion. Your introduction clearly states your position, and you provide arguments for both sides before concluding that scientific subjects are more beneficial for future success. To enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning particular skills that can be developed through scientific subjects.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.
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