History or science at school: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

352 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2352 words

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Currently, it is widely argued among some individuals that gaining knowledge depending on modern subjects like science, technology is better instead of old fashioned subject, History. I firmly believe that Although knowing about our background like our ancestors, their way of living in the past is considered as a necessary point for young generation, being aware of modern subjects, Computer literature, working with AI and advanced electronic devices is meeting the top priority goal of school children.

Lexical resource
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RevisedCurrently, there is a widespread debate about whether knowledge in modern subjects like science and technology is more beneficial than understanding history.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedWhile understanding our historical background, including that of our ancestors and their way of living in the past, is important for the younger generation, being familiar with modern subjects such as computer science, AI, and advanced electronic devices is the top priority for students.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.

On the one hand, these days in most of the countries the authorities at schools always keep making their students be aware of history and know about their ancestors. In some cases, this phenomenon seems a bit important but knowing the past of people or country cannot guarantee future job vacancies in the modern world. The prime reason is that all students study subjects which can guarantee high salary in job sectors for them and history is not considered as that crucial one. Secondly, modern generations cannot see any potential benefits of knowing History but modern subjects like science and technology.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedIn most countries, school authorities today encourage students to learn about history and their ancestors.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Lexical resource
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RevisedIn some cases, this focus on the past may seem somewhat significant, but understanding history does not guarantee future job opportunities.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more appropriate vocabulary.

On the other hand, over the glove majority portion of the students who is studying in education sectors like schools, colleges and universities, are really busy with modern subjects like Working with AI (Artificial intelligence), computer literature and advanced devices. Following this, they are exactly sure that they are highly likely to get the high wages job vacancies in the following years. Besides that, the survey conducted by top scientists over the world says that Z and Alpha generations are being grown up with high-tech, AI and this means that they are highly capable of working, understanding and using with them. Highly hopefully, they are also able to create a lot of occupations in job sectors for population.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedOn the other hand, the majority of students, particularly those studying subjects like AI, computer literature, and advanced devices, dominate the education sector.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedAs a result, they are confident that they are likely to secure high-paying jobs in the future.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedHopefully, they will also create a lot of job opportunities in their respective fields.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more appropriate vocabulary.

To conclude, in spite of the fact that history plays and remains an important subject in education, it cannot guarantee high salary occupations. However, being aware of modern ones can provide the students in education sectors with not only high waged job vacancies but also it can urge these students create free employment for other individuals.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, while history remains an important subject, it does not guarantee high-paying jobs.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn most countries, school authorities today encourage students to learn about history and their ancestors.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedOn the other hand, the majority of students, particularly those studying subjects like AI, computer literature, and advanced devices, dominate the education sector.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, while history remains an important subject, it does not guarantee high-paying jobs.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedWhile understanding our historical background, including that of our ancestors and their way of living in the past, is important for the younger generation, being familiar with modern subjects such as computer science, AI, and advanced electronic devices is the top priority for students.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.
RevisedIn some cases, this focus on the past may seem somewhat significant, but knowledge of history does not guarantee future job opportunities.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.
RevisedAs a result, they are confident that they are likely to secure high-paying jobs in the future.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedCurrently, there is a widespread debate about whether knowledge in modern subjects like science and technology is more beneficial than understanding history.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear.
RevisedIn some cases, this focus on the past may seem somewhat significant, but understanding history does not guarantee future job opportunities.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more appropriate vocabulary.
RevisedHopefully, they will also create a lot of job opportunities in their respective fields.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more appropriate vocabulary.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on the importance of history versus modern subjects like science and technology. The writer's opinion is clear, and the essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

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