Healthy living: countryside or city: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
290 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2290 words
Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Although living in a countryside yield several health-related benefits, I strongly contend that, cities are better option because of several sport-related conveniences and better access to healthcare
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe question of whether villages are better places to live for a healthy lifestyle or cities are better suited for it has long been a topic of debate.
The phrase 'better place to live in a healthy lifestyle' is not grammatically correct. The preposition 'for' should be used after 'suited for'.
Admittedly, there are several conveniences that people can have a healthy lifestyle in suburbs. Countrysides are often surrounded by trees, greenery spaces, and various plantations, which are play a major role in healthy lifestyle. Consequently, people can live in clear place. Moreover people may constantly active by doing household chores, farming, and planting. These activities also help them stay active and healthy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThese green spaces improve the quality of air.
The term 'greeneries' is not standard English. 'Green spaces' is a more appropriate term to use in this context.
Several ways available. Chief among them is the introduction of more comprehensive and sophisticated facilities. These conveniences ensure healthy and balanced habitat
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNevertheless, I firmly believe that cities are more suitable for securing a healthy living.
The preposition 'for' is more appropriate in this context.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn cities, people can utilize modern gym equipment and versatile sport facilities, which promote a healthy balance.
The phrase 'try modern gym tools' is awkward and not standard English. The revision provides a more accurate and natural collocation.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, city dwellers have access to a variety of sport programs and healthy diet plans, overseen by qualified and experienced coaches.
The phrase 'access to different sports' is vague. The revision provides a more specific and clear collocation.
In cities, a huge number of modern hospitals, healthcare checkouts, and qualified doctors are readily available for people.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother notable convenience of living in a city is the wide access to healthcare.
The use of 'the' is necessary before 'wide access' to indicate that it is a specific convenience unique to cities.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis can be seen in people who want to maintain a healthy diet.
The phrase 'eat healthy diet' is not grammatically correct. The revision provides a more accurate collocation.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThey can visit doctors and work on diet programs, which also help them adopt a healthy lifestyle.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect. The conjunction 'and' should be used after 'visit doctors' to connect two independent clauses. Also, the phrase 'turn into healthy lifestyle' is not grammatically correct and should be 'adopt a healthy lifestyle'.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, although the countryside can make the process of healthy living easier in terms of greater quantities of natural landscapes, I assert that it is easier in cities due to the availability of sport facilities and common access to healthcare.
The comparative form 'easier' should be used instead of 'more easier'. Also, the preposition 'due to' is more appropriate in this context.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer's opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the key points.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNevertheless, I firmly believe that cities are more suitable for securing a healthy living.
The preposition 'for' is more appropriate in this context.
RevisedAnother notable convenience of living in a city is the wide access to healthcare.
The use of 'the' is necessary before 'wide access' to indicate that it is a specific convenience unique to cities.
RevisedIn conclusion, although the countryside can make the process of healthy living easier in terms of greater quantities of natural landscapes, I assert that it is easier in cities due to the availability of sport facilities and common access to healthcare.
The comparative form 'easier' should be used instead of 'more easier'. Also, the preposition 'due to' is more appropriate in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are a few minor errors, such as issues with article usage and prepositions, which could be polished for a more professional finish.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe question of whether villages are better places to live for a healthy lifestyle or cities are better suited for it has long been a topic of debate.
The phrase 'better place to live in a healthy lifestyle' is not grammatically correct. The preposition 'for' should be used after 'suited for'.
RevisedThese green spaces improve the quality of air.
The term 'greeneries' is not standard English. 'Green spaces' is a more appropriate term to use in this context.
RevisedThey can visit doctors and work on diet programs, which also help them adopt a healthy lifestyle.
The sentence is grammatically incorrect. The conjunction 'and' should be used after 'visit doctors' to connect two independent clauses. Also, the phrase 'turn into healthy lifestyle' is not grammatically correct and should be 'adopt a healthy lifestyle'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and impact.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn cities, people can utilize modern gym equipment and versatile sport facilities, which promote a healthy balance.
The phrase 'try modern gym tools' is awkward and not standard English. The revision provides a more accurate and natural collocation.
RevisedFurthermore, city dwellers have access to a variety of sport programs and healthy diet plans, overseen by qualified and experienced coaches.
The phrase 'access to different sports' is vague. The revision provides a more specific and clear collocation.
RevisedThis can be seen in people who want to maintain a healthy diet.
The phrase 'eat healthy diet' is not grammatically correct. The revision provides a more accurate collocation.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position that cities are better suited for a healthy lifestyle due to the sport facilities and healthcare access. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points. However, the essay could be strengthened by including more specific examples to illustrate the advantages of city living more vividly.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples to support your arguments.
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