Healthy living: countryside or city: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 7.0

There is an ongoing debate about having a healthy lifestyle, with some arguing that living in the countryside and keeping a healthy lifestyle is easier, whereas others think that urban areas can be the places where health benefits could be developed. While living in cities and keeping a healthy lifestyle can be beneficial in some cases, I side with those who support that life in rural areas can have more advantages for health of people.

The major contributing factor why people can gain more health benefits in rural regions is that natural habitat can be a signal that impedes people of eating unhealthy food or doing harmful activities. Countryside, moreover, is a perfect place of keeping a balanced diet, due to the fresh products that farmers collect and the products that are straightly taken from animals as dairy products: milk or eggs. Additionally, manual activities that happen in countryside, require a physical power and regular contributions, which leads to weight loss and keeping body fit. This pattern can be seen in my country- Uzbekistan, where a lot of people live in different villages and have a daily routine of collecting healthy plants and involving physical types of jobs as plower of the land or tractor driver.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedOne major reason people can gain more health benefits from rural living is that the natural environment often discourages unhealthy eating or harmful activities.

   The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedFurthermore, the countryside provides an ideal setting for maintaining a balanced diet, with fresh produce from farmers and animal products such as milk and eggs readily available.

   The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

3. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThis pattern can be seen in my country, Uzbekistan, where many people in rural areas have a daily routine of engaging in physically demanding agricultural work, such as plowing the land or driving a tractor.

   The revised sentence provides the same information but is more coherent and easier to understand.

Another aspect that cannot be overlooked is - convenience, which makes people live in urban areas because of infrastructure of cities. Urban areas give more opportunities for a better career and high salary, whereas villages do not provide the same type of comfortability for people. Living in cities, moreover, can lead to a professional degree, which is later can be used to possess a profitable job. This trend can be seen in one Asian country- Tadjikistan, where people commute every day to a city using various types of transportation to work and study in the central city rather than living in their comfort zone in the village.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother important factor is convenience, which draws people to urban areas due to the well-developed infrastructure.

   The revised sentence is more concise and the phrasing is more natural.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThis trend can be seen in Tadjikistan, an Asian country where many people commute to the city daily, using various forms of transportation for work and study, rather than living in their villages.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the idea.

In conclusion, living in rural regions has more advantages as fresh food and calmness personally, while professional growth and education can be gained only in cities.