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Timber, pulp and paper production: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 6.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

245 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 November 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Timber, pulp and paper production (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Timber, Pulp, Paper for 1980, 1985, 1990, 1995, 2000, in units not stated. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.02.557.51012.519801985199019952000
Timber, pulp and paper production (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Timber, Pulp, Paper for 1980, 1985, 1990, 1995, 2000, in units not stated. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.02.557.51012.519801985199019952000
Values in units not stated. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Timber, pulp and paper production (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (units not stated)
TimberPulpPaper
1980545.5
19851067
1990878
19956.589
20007.51012

Academic Task 1245 words

The graph below shows the production of three forest industry products in a European country, namely timber, pulp, and paper, from 1980 to 2000

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe line chart illustrates the production levels of three forest industry products in a European country from 1980 to 2000.

    Replaced 'provides information about the amount of' with 'illustrates the production levels of' for precision.

Overall, It is clear that all the three products in question started to be produced more over the period, with all of them sharing the dominance in different years.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedAlthough timber was produced the most for the better part of the period, paper production showed the greatest amount at the end.

    Removed the comma after 'Although' for grammatical accuracy.

The quantity of paper produced increased gradually first, and experienced a significant rise over the last few years. In the initial year, the figure made up the least amount of only 4 million tonnes. It had doubled its amount by 1995, and then, decreased a little before soaring to 12 tonnes in the final year.

After that, the figure only experienced different degrees of decline till the end, except for couple of years starting from 1995, and showed the list amount of production at almost 8 tonnes.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedTimber production was the highest in the first half of the period.

    Replaced 'the major figure' with 'the highest' for clarity.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedTimber production started at 5 tonnes in 1980 and quickly reached 10 tonnes by 1985.

    Clarified the subject for better coherence.

Starting the period with a sharp decrease from about 6 million tonnes to a little above 2 million, the manufacture of pulp had a significant increase and even showed the highest amount for a while between 1990 and 1995.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe stable rise led this figure to make up almost 10 million tonnes in the end.

    Corrected the verb form from 'lead' to 'led'.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized, but some transitions and connections between ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

  • Use clearer transitions between paragraphs.
  • Ensure consistent use of tenses.
  • Clarify comparisons between products.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedAlthough timber was produced the most for the better part of the period, paper production showed the greatest amount at the end.

    Removed the comma after 'Although' for grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedThe stable rise led this figure to make up almost 10 million tonnes in the end.

    Corrected the verb form from 'lead' to 'led'.

  • RevisedTimber production started at 5 tonnes in 1980 and quickly reached 10 tonnes by 1985.

    Clarified the subject for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors affecting clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, it is clear that all three products were produced in greater quantities over the period.

    Corrected capitalization and improved grammatical structure.

  • RevisedPulp production started the period with a sharp decrease from about 6 million tonnes to slightly above 2 million, followed by a significant increase.

    Clarified the sentence structure and subject.

  • RevisedThe stable rise led to a production level of almost 10 million tonnes by the end.

    Corrected verb form and clarified the sentence.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The vocabulary is appropriate, but lacks variety and precision in some areas.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe line chart illustrates the production levels of three forest industry products in a European country from 1980 to 2000.

    Replaced 'provides information about the amount of' with 'illustrates the production levels of' for precision.

  • RevisedOverall, it is evident that production of all three products increased over the period.

    Replaced 'started to be produced more' with 'increased' for clarity.

  • RevisedTimber production was the highest in the first half of the period.

    Replaced 'the major figure' with 'the highest' for clarity.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and provides an overview of the data, but lacks some specific details and clarity.

Suggestions

  • Include specific data points for more clarity.
  • Ensure all trends are clearly explained.

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