Timber, pulp and paper production: IELTS Task 1 answer #5, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
196 words. Marked by Axiom on 2 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Timber | Pulp | Paper | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1980 | 5 | 4 | 5.5 |
| 1985 | 10 | 6 | 7 |
| 1990 | 8 | 7 | 8 |
| 1995 | 6.5 | 8 | 9 |
| 2000 | 7.5 | 10 | 12 |
Academic Task 1196 words
The graph below shows the production of three forest industry products in a European country, namely timber, pulp, and paper from 1980 to 2000.
( timber,pulp, and paper) in a European country between 1989 and 2000. , with It is also evident that the paper's production reached a peak, than the other two goods throughout the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe line chart compares the production of three forest industry goods in a European country from 1980 to 2000.
Corrected the time period to match the graph.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, all three goods experienced increases in their production over the period.
Added 'over the period' for clarity.
Lexical resource
Revised...a much more pronounced growth observed in paper production.
Clarified the phrase for precision.
The figure for production of pulp began around 6 million tons in 1980, and there was a steady growth to around 7 million tons in 1985. before it saw a significant increase to 10 million tons at the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThen, the figure remained stable for the next ten years...
Clarified the time reference.
in 1980, whereas doubled five years later. between 1985 and 1995 before settling at just below roughly 8 MT by the end of the period.
Lexical resource
RevisedTimber production started at 5 million tons...
Removed unnecessary word 'regarding' for better clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfterwards, the figure fluctuated between 8 and 6 million tons...
Used 'fluctuated' for better grammatical accuracy.
It stood at 4 MT, yet there was a considerable increase to 9 MT in 1995. Then, it continued to grow and ended the period with a peak at 12 MT in 2000.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe figure for paper production bucked the previous trend.
Rephrased for clarity and coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized, but there are some inconsistencies in the timeline and data interpretation.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data from the graph.
- Maintain consistency in time references.
- Use clear linking phrases for better flow.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line chart compares the production of three forest industry goods in a European country from 1980 to 2000.
Corrected the time period to match the graph.
RevisedOverall, all three goods experienced increases in their production over the period.
Added 'over the period' for clarity.
RevisedThen, the figure remained stable for the next ten years...
Clarified the time reference.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
Revised...and it steadily grew to around 7 million tons in 1985.
Improved sentence structure for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedAfterwards, the figure fluctuated between 8 and 6 million tons...
Used 'fluctuated' for better grammatical accuracy.
RevisedThen, it continued to grow, ending the period with a peak at 12 million tons...
Improved sentence structure for grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary is appropriate, but there are minor errors in word choice and phrasing.
Sentence revisions 3
Revised...a much more pronounced growth observed in paper production.
Clarified the phrase for precision.
RevisedTimber production started at 5 million tons...
Removed unnecessary word 'regarding' for better clarity.
RevisedThe figure for paper production bucked the previous trend.
Rephrased for clarity and coherence.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but contains inaccuracies in data representation and time period.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data accurately reflects the graph.
- Correct any discrepancies in the timeline.
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