Timber, pulp and paper production: IELTS Task 1 answer #2, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

191 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 September 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in units not stated. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Timber, pulp and paper production (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (units not stated)
	Timber	Pulp	Paper
1980	5	4	5.5
1985	10	6	7
1990	8	7	8
1995	6.5	8	9
2000	7.5	10	12

Academic Task 1191 words

The graph below shows the production of three forest industry products in a European country, namely timber, pulp, and paper, from 1980 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the quantity of produced forest goods, such as timber, paper, and pulp, in a span of 20 years, from 1980 to 2000.

In essence, all three items have been following an upward trend in terms of the quantity produced, although timber have experienced the most fluctuations.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedEssentially, all three products have shown upward trends in production, with timber being the most volatile.
The revision provides a more concise and formal way of expressing the same idea.

Delving into the details, pulp had initially started at almost 6 million tonnes produced, after which it dropped significantly to nearly 2 million tonnes approximately in 1983. Timber and paper, on the other hand, rose during the same period, and the former continued growing, reaching 10 million tonnes in 1985, before its remarkable decline in the following years.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedTo delve into specifics, pulp began with a production of nearly 6 million tonnes, but then saw a significant drop to approximately 2 million tonnes in 1983.
The revision provides a more precise and formal way of presenting the information.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedOn the other hand, timber and paper rose during the same period, with the former continuing to grow, reaching 10 million tonnes in 1985, before experiencing a remarkable decline in the following years.
The revision clarifies the meaning and improves the grammatical accuracy and fluency of the sentence.

While the quantity of timber was falling to just above 6 million tonnes by 1995, paper has been consistently increasing, reaching roughly 9 million by the same year. As to the pulp, after its fall in 1983, the product became prevalent and plateaued around 8 million tonnes throughout the years until 1998. Afterwards, both paper and pulp rose even further, with the former having 12 million tonnes and the latter producing 10 million tonnes by 2000, whereas timber dipped to almost 7 million.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedBy 1995, although timber production was in decline, paper production had been on a consistent rise, with quantities reaching approximately 9 million tonnes.
The revision clarifies the timeline and improves the formal tone of the sentence.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedSubsequently, both paper and pulp experienced further increases, with the former reaching 12 million tonnes and the latter 10 million tonnes by 2000, whilst timber's production fell to just under 7 million tonnes.
The revision uses more precise and varied vocabulary to describe the changes in production.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the main trends observed in the graph. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow the analysis.

Suggestions

Consider using more varied linking words to improve the flow of the text.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedEssentially, all three products have shown upward trends in production, with timber being the most volatile.
The revision provides a more concise and formal way of expressing the same idea.
RevisedBy 1995, although timber production was in decline, paper production had been on a consistent rise, with quantities reaching approximately 9 million tonnes.
The revision clarifies the timeline and improves the formal tone of the sentence.
RevisedTo delve into specifics, pulp began with a production of nearly 6 million tonnes, but then saw a significant drop to approximately 2 million tonnes in 1983.
The revision provides a more precise and formal way of presenting the information.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOn the other hand, timber and paper rose during the same period, with the former continuing to grow, reaching 10 million tonnes in 1985, before experiencing a remarkable decline in the following years.
The revision clarifies the meaning and improves the grammatical accuracy and fluency of the sentence.
RevisedWhile the quantity of timber was falling to just above 6 million tonnes by 1995, the production of paper was on a consistent increase, reaching roughly 9 million tonnes by the same year.
The revision corrects the tense and makes the sentence more concise and accurate.
RevisedEssentially, the production of all three items has been on an upward trend, although timber has been the most volatile.
The revision corrects the verb form to agree with the subject and uses a more formal and precise language.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedSubsequently, both paper and pulp experienced further increases, with the former reaching 12 million tonnes and the latter 10 million tonnes by 2000, whilst timber's production fell to just under 7 million tonnes.
The revision uses more precise and varied vocabulary to describe the changes in production.
RevisedEssentially, all three items have shown increasing production, although timber has been the most volatile.
The revision corrects the verb form to agree with the subject and uses a more formal and precise vocabulary.
RevisedWhile timber production was decreasing to just above 6 million tonnes by 1995, paper was consistently increasing, reaching roughly 9 million tonnes by the same year.
The revision corrects the tense consistency for a more accurate description of the trends.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the main trends and features present in the graph. The information is clearly and logically organized, making it easy to understand the relationships between the different products.

Suggestions

Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed and that the information is presented in a formal and objective tone.

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