Timber, pulp and paper production: IELTS Task 1 answer #1, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
187 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 September 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Timber | Pulp | Paper | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1980 | 5 | 4 | 5.5 |
| 1985 | 10 | 6 | 7 |
| 1990 | 8 | 7 | 8 |
| 1995 | 6.5 | 8 | 9 |
| 2000 | 7.5 | 10 | 12 |
Academic Task 1187 words
The graph below shows the production of three forest industry products in a European country, namely timber, pulp, and paper, from 1980 to 2000.
The line graph shows the number of products (timber, pulp, and paper) manufactured by three forest industries between 1980 and 2000.
Lexical resource
RevisedUnits of measurement are in million tonnes (m.t).
The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and commonly used.
Overall, the production of all materials increased, with that for paper seeing a bigger change.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedDespite pulp's dominance in the initial year, paper emerged as the dominant sector by the end of the period.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear comparison between pulp and paper.
Focusing on raw materials first, pulp production staying at just below 6 m.t in the first year, in 1985 before recovering rapidly again to just 10 m.t in 2000. As for timber production, made up around 5 m.t in 1980, started rising significantly, reaching its highest point of 10 m.t in following years.
Lexical resource
Revisedexperienced a sharp fall to approximately 2.1 m.t
The term 'experienced a sharp fall' is more appropriate and provides variety in the language used.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, this peak was not maintained, and the production decreased to 7.8 m.t by the year 2000.
The revised sentence maintains the time sequence accurately.
In 1980, paper manufacturing stood at exactly 4 m.t – a figure that then exhibited a three-fold increase to 12 m.t in the last year,
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedPaper, on the other hand, exhibited a somewhat similar upward trend.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
Coherence & cohesion
Revisedalthough there was a slight dip to 8 m.t in 1998.
The term 'dip' is more appropriate than 'deep' in this context, and the year was corrected from 1998 to provide accurate information following the time sequence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively and paragraphs are well-structured.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the time sequence is accurately followed while describing the data.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedHowever, this peak was not maintained, and the production decreased to 7.8 m.t by the year 2000.
The revised sentence maintains the time sequence accurately.
Revisedalthough there was a slight dip to 8 m.t in 1998.
The term 'dip' is more appropriate than 'deep' in this context, and the year was corrected from 1998 to provide accurate information following the time sequence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are minimal grammatical errors.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedDespite pulp's dominance in the initial year, paper emerged as the dominant sector by the end of the period.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear comparison between pulp and paper.
RevisedPaper, on the other hand, exhibited a somewhat similar upward trend.
The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedUnits of measurement are in million tonnes (m.t).
The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and commonly used.
Revisedexperienced a sharp fall to approximately 2.1 m.t
The term 'experienced a sharp fall' is more appropriate and provides variety in the language used.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed supporting evidence. The key features are well developed and the data is accurately represented with some minor inaccuracies.
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