Young offenders treated as adults: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

264 words. Marked by Axiom on 27 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2264 words

Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a commonly believed idea by many people that individuals who commit crimes in younger ages should be punished as grown-ups. While it seems a logical solution, I strongly disagree with this idea.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedMany people commonly believe that individuals who commit crimes at a young age should be punished like adults.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

There are several reasons why I do not follow the idea of sentencing everyone who commits crime the same despite their ages. Teenagers who committed a crime, firstly, may not be aware of the consequences of their actions all the time. At this young age many people try to do new things to find out what will they become in future or where their potential lies. In some cases, these kids may get involved in illegal activities like drug-dealing or even shoplifting unwillingly, since they see these activities as just tryouts. Therefore, punishing them as adults may not be that fair.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedTeenagers who commit crimes may not always be aware of the consequences of their actions.
The revised sentence is more concise and grammatically accurate.
Lexical resource
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RevisedAt a young age, many people engage in various activities to discover their future selves and potential.
The revised sentence is more natural and fluent.

Another reason is that youngsters might not be mature enough to handle the punishments as adults do. Pressuring young offenders like older ones may lead to unwanted consequences like breaking them psychologically and laying ground for new generation of criminals, worsening the situation as a result. In most cases, rehabilitating teenage criminals by teaching them their legal responsibilities might be better solution, as getting teens on the right track is easier when they are new to the world of crime. In addition, the rate of serious offences committed by juvenile delinquents can be lessened by giving them a second chance, in other words, educating them instead of punishing.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedAnother reason is that youngsters may not have the maturity to handle punishments like adults.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedPressuring young offenders like older ones may have unwanted consequences, such as psychological breakdowns and the formation of a new generation of criminals, which could worsen the situation.
The revised sentence is more concise and grammatically accurate.

In conclusion, adolescent who committed a crime should not be treated as adults, as the consequences could be worse than intended.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, treating adolescent criminals as adults could have worse consequences.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedAnother reason is that youngsters may not have the maturity to handle punishments like adults.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, treating adolescent criminals as adults could have worse consequences.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede communication.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedTeenagers who commit crimes may not always be aware of the consequences of their actions.
The revised sentence is more concise and grammatically accurate.
RevisedPressuring young offenders like older ones may have unwanted consequences, such as psychological breakdowns and the formation of a new generation of criminals, which could worsen the situation.
The revised sentence is more concise and grammatically accurate.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedMany people commonly believe that individuals who commit crimes at a young age should be punished like adults.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedAt a young age, many people engage in various activities to discover their future selves and potential.
The revised sentence is more natural and fluent.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer's position.

Suggestions

Consider revising the introduction to make the topic and your position more clear.

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