Is scientific research a waste?: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
284 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2284 words
Some people say that a lot of scientific research done today is a waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree disagree?
I strongly agree with this viewpoint as nowadays not only some discoveries are worth its money, but some of them are threat to humanity.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe question of scientists conducting unnecessary research has long been a topic of debate, with some believing it is a waste of budget and attention.
The word 'researches' is the plural form of 'research' and is not typically used in this context. The term 'budged' is a misspelling of 'budget'.
In simple words, today many authorities allocate myriad budget on exploring the universe, and try to investigate new objects and planets, yet finding not a single discovery that would be useful for our world. this results in not only waste of money, but also distracts society and government from serious global problems. Therefore, it is essential to conduct investigations wisely, and without waste of resources.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne concern associated with some modern research, especially space exploration, is the waste of money and resources.
The sentence is a bit confusing and could be made more clear and concise.
R. Oppenheimer created atomic bomb in order to save the world from the evil of Nazi, and subsequently confessed that it is his invention that is true evil.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe drawbacks of this trend extend beyond unwise funding to include the possibility of creating dangerous inventions.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhen we focus on every aspect that we want to improve, we may sometimes end up making terrible discoveries, despite our pure intentions.
The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe invention of the atomic bomb would be a perfect example in this case.
The term 'atomic bomb' should be preceded by the article 'the'.
Lexical resource
RevisedThus, it is important to focus on discoveries and inventions that can solve problems, rather than conducting research that could lead to destructive inventions like the atomic bomb.
The term 'investigating researches' is not correct. The revised sentence is more accurate and clear.
On top of that, some of them may be a reason of massive destruction.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, it is indeed true that we need to avoid pursuing explorations that are not beneficial, or that could potentially pose a threat, to prevent the wastage of resources and budget.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise, and the use of 'that' instead of 'which' is more appropriate in this context.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the link between the first and second paragraphs could be made clearer. The use of cohesive devices within paragraphs is good, but the use of linking words between paragraphs could be more effective. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Overall, the essay shows a basic understanding of cohesive devices, but there is room for improvement in the use and application of these devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main point of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne concern associated with some modern research, especially space exploration, is the waste of money and resources.
The sentence is a bit confusing and could be made more clear and concise.
RevisedThe drawbacks of this trend extend beyond unwise funding to include the possibility of creating dangerous inventions.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
RevisedIn conclusion, it is indeed true that we need to avoid pursuing explorations that are not beneficial, or that could potentially pose a threat, to prevent the wastage of resources and budget.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise, and the use of 'that' instead of 'which' is more appropriate in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. For example, "budged and attention" should be "budget and attention," and "myriad budget" should be "many resources." Overall, the essay shows a basic understanding of grammar and punctuation, but there is room for improvement in the form of thorough proofreading to eliminate errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne concerning issue associated with some modern research, especially in the field of space exploration, is the waste of money and resources.
The phrase 'some of modern researches' is not grammatically correct. The revised sentence is more accurate and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, it is indeed true that we need to prevent explorations that are not useful, or that could potentially pose a threat, to prevent the wastage of resources and budget.
The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and clear.
RevisedWhen we focus on every aspect that we want to improve, we may sometimes end up making terrible discoveries, despite our pure intentions.
The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and clear.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. For example, "budged and attention" should be "budget and attention," and "myriad budget" should be "a large budget." Overall, the essay shows a competent use of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in the use of more precise and appropriate language.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe question of scientists conducting unnecessary research has long been a topic of debate, with some believing it is a waste of budget and attention.
The word 'researches' is the plural form of 'research' and is not typically used in this context. The term 'budged' is a misspelling of 'budget'.
RevisedThe invention of the atomic bomb would be a perfect example in this case.
The term 'atomic bomb' should be preceded by the article 'the'.
RevisedThus, it is important to focus on discoveries and inventions that can solve problems, rather than conducting research that could lead to destructive inventions like the atomic bomb.
The term 'investigating researches' is not correct. The revised sentence is more accurate and clear.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the wastefulness of scientific research, particularly in the case of space exploration. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Overall, the essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a well-developed argument.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
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