Is scientific research a waste?: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
277 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2277 words
Some people say that a lot of scientific research done today is a waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that plenty science related research implemented is wasting money and time. This essay completely disagrees with the viewpoint as despite scientific research might not lead to short-term result, it is mostly long-sighted research and also, this research is crucial in terms of tackling global issues, such as disease, climate change.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAlthough science-based research may not yield short-term results, it is often designed to have a positive long-term impact.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis is because scientific research is often forward-looking, planned for long-term success, leading to significant and positive advancements.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedAdditionally, these long-term effects can solve some problems that cannot be resolved in a short period of time.
The term 'resolve' is more appropriate in this context than 'solve'.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor example, research on renewable energies can have significant long-term benefits, such as helping to combat climate change and conserve resources for future generations, compared to their short-term consequences.
The term 'ramifications' is not as clear in this context as 'benefits', and the revised sentence is more concise and direct.
This is because scientific researches are mostly aimed at finding solutions for some global issues such as climate change, reducing plastics and microplastics. In addition, they are sometimes aimed at finding cures for some of the most contagious diseases, which eventually lead to death of millions of lives, and by finding vaccines, they will be able to save people's lives.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFurthermore, these types of researchers are crucial in addressing global issues, such as disease and climate change.
The revision provides a clearer and more direct statement, improving the flow and coherence of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor instance, research on vaccines has been vital in saving millions of lives during pandemics, especially COVID-19.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses the correct capitalization for 'COVID-19'.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn conclusion, this essay disagrees with the idea, stating that science-based research can be beneficial in finding long-term solutions to global issues.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position of the essay, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay and improve overall coherence.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments made in the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough science-based research may not yield short-term results, it is often designed to have a positive long-term impact.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
RevisedThis is because scientific research is often forward-looking, planned for long-term success, leading to significant and positive advancements.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedFurthermore, these types of researchers are crucial in addressing global issues, such as disease and climate change.
The revision provides a clearer and more direct statement, improving the flow and coherence of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good range of complex sentences. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. For example, "Despite science-based research might not have short-term results, it will have positive long-term impacts" could be rephrased as "Although science-based research may not have short-term results, it will have positive long-term impacts."
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough science-based research may not have short-term results, it often leads to positive long-term outcomes.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more precise.
RevisedFor instance, research on vaccines has been vital in saving millions of lives during pandemics, especially COVID-19.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses the correct capitalization for 'COVID-19'.
RevisedIn conclusion, this essay disagrees with the idea, stating that science-based research can be beneficial in finding long-term solutions to global issues.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a varied vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, "This is because scientific research is often forward-looking, planned for long-term success, leading to significant and positive advancements" could be rephrased as "This is because scientific research, often planned for long-term success, leads to significant and positive advancements."
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough science-based research may not produce short-term results, it will have positive long-term effects.
The term 'effects' is more appropriate in this context than 'impacts'.
RevisedAdditionally, these long-term effects can solve some problems that cannot be resolved in a short period of time.
The term 'resolve' is more appropriate in this context than 'solve'.
RevisedFor example, research on renewable energies can have significant long-term benefits, such as helping to combat climate change and conserve resources for future generations, compared to their short-term consequences.
The term 'ramifications' is not as clear in this context as 'benefits', and the revised sentence is more concise and direct.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you provide a variety of examples to support your arguments.
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