Protecting all species equally: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0

Some individuals claim that all wild animal species are worth preserving, whereas others contend that only some necessary animals should be protected. Although both viewpoints are sensible to an extent, I believe all types of wild animals should be preserved while focusing more on important ones.

It has been biologically and scientifically proven that all wild animals have play a role to maintain an ecological balance. To be specific, carnivores often prey herbivores, preventing them from overgrazing. For example, wolves, jackals, and foxes hunt deer, zebras and giraffes that usually graze in open grasslands. However, if these predators do not control and kill them, their numbers can be boomed, potentially leading to overpopulation and overgrazing. Furthermore, if only certain species, including pandas, tigers, lions, and bears are in the spotlight of conservationists, other species might be extinct because of less attention. To aviod extinction of any wild animals, responsible bodies should protected all of them equally.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedHowever, if these predators are not allowed to control and kill them, their populations can rapidly increase, leading to overpopulation and overgrazing.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more grammatically accurate phrasing.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedTo prevent the extinction of any wild animals, the relevant authorities should ensure that all species are protected equally.

   The revised sentence corrects the spelling and grammar errors, and uses more precise language.

Other people, however, argue differently that only certain animals should be protected. Tigers, for example, whose numbers are more than 5,000 should be paid more attention, as they are on the edge of extinction. In case they go into extinction, we will probably lose one of the most important wild animals on Earth. What is more, some wild animal species are crucial for manufacturing industry. Take crocodiles as an example, luxurious leather products are usually made from their furs, often helping increase the economy. Other animals, especially wild rabbits, are significant to test the quality and validity of new medicines.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, some people argue that only specific animal species should be protected.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific contrast.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFurthermore, some wild animal species are crucial for the manufacturing industry.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more accurate preposition.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedOther animals, particularly wild rabbits, are often used in testing the quality and efficacy of new medicines.

   The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural phrasing.

In my view, governments and individuals should focus on all existing wild animals since they are important to maintain an ecological balance. Also, I believe we should protect them equally for the sake of their existence the same as us on Earth. However, important wild animal species: tigers, lions, and bears should be preserved very cautiously, as they are on the edge of extinction.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn my opinion, it is crucial for governments and individuals to protect all existing wild animals, as they play a vital role in maintaining ecological balance.

   The revised sentence is more concise and directly communicates the point.

In conclusion, although both viewpoints have merit, I believe all wild animals should be protected equally while concentrating more on important species, as the examples above suggest.