Parents teaching children at home: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 7.0

In some countries, it is popular for parents not to have their children taught at school, instead they teach them at home by themselves. I believe, there are more drawbacks of this trend than benefits.

Obviously, there are several advantages of giving proper knowledge and skills for children at home, the most considerable of which is not getting distracted. At school, children do not tend to spend their full time on learning and developing new skills, instead they may waste their time playing or chatting with their friends if not controlled, as school children are often playful and do not have sense of responsibility. Additionally, students can also have more time to study at home because they do not have to spend time for long distances to go to schools and come back home. This would make it far more efficient if they only paid attention to their growth and what they are learning by having more than enough time at home. As a result, without wasting their time playing with friends and walking to school, students are more likely to achieve better results.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedClearly, there are some benefits to providing children with knowledge and skills at home, the most significant of which is the lack of distraction.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedAt school, children often do not spend their full time learning and developing new skills, but may waste time playing or chatting with friends, as they are often playful and lack a sense of responsibility.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.

Given these regards, it may feel much better to teach them at home, but it is not. Giving kids some behavioral knowledge is purely a parental duty, but providing other knowledge is more beneficial at school since schools occupy a formative space in a child's moral and social development that cannot simply be delegated elsewhere, especially at home. Children may spend most of their time with their friends and this is what they need to do to improve their social skills, which home cannot replicate. If they do not take some time to relax and play with their friends and only study relentlessly, they may develop unwillingness to learn anything whatsoever, resulting to hate towards their studies and even their parents. Also, they are always under the supervision of their educators who do not let them waste their time and mostly try and help them learn within those walls. Considering all these advantages, students have unparalleled opportunities at school.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedDespite these advantages, the home-based teaching may not be the optimal approach.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the argument.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedAdditionally, they are under the supervision of their educators, who do not allow them to waste time and strive to keep them focused within the classroom.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedTaking into account these advantages, students have unique opportunities in a school setting.

   The revised sentence is more precise and effective.

In conclusion, although remote education provides students with more time and attention for studying, I believe that schools hold a major impact on learners’ development, such as social improvement and provision of proper knowledge and willingness.