Parents and their children’s crimes: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
419 words. Marked by Axiom on 15 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2419 words
Nowadays people think that parents should be punished for illegal actions of their children. Others think children are responsible for their actions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is an ongoing debate over who should be responsible for crimes committed by children. While some believe that parents should face the punishment on the behalf of their children, I agree with those who argue that each individual should be punished for every unlawful action done by no one but them regardless of their age.
It is understandable why some argue that parents should be blamed for their children’s illegal actions. This single factor is thought to predetermine the future of children, whether they act decent or impulsively.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis is because, in general, the overall environment of a child's household plays a vital role in the development of their behavior and mindset towards the world.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedAccording to psychological research, parents, being the primary role models in a child's life, have a significant influence on shaping their worldview and mindset.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis is why a child's behavior can easily be attributed to their parents and the habits they foster, whether good or bad.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
For example, in the history of notorious murderers and serial killers, most of the times, there was little-to-no bad influence coming from their parents, as most of them were raised in lovely environment with one or two kind parents.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, I believe that individuals should be held responsible for their actions, regardless of their family status or age, rather than their parents.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOne main reason is that people are not always affected by their parents or their home environment, as has been the case throughout history.
The revised sentence corrects the word order and improves the clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedDue to the development of social media and social life, it can be said that there is a higher chance of influence on young people from the content they consume on social media or their social circles, as opposed to their parents.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt would be unfair to shift responsibility to their parents, who did nothing wrong and did their best to control what their children watch and do.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTherefore, I believe that a thorough investigation, both physical and psychological, should always be conducted before shifting the blame from a child to the parent. This would make the process more trustworthy and fact-based, as opposed to relying on non-factual factors.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn conclusion, although parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's perspective and outlook on the world, I believe it is not enough to always hold them solely accountable without considering all the factors involved.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedHowever, I believe that individuals should be held responsible for their actions, regardless of their family status or age, rather than their parents.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedIt would be unfair to shift responsibility to their parents, who did nothing wrong and did their best to control what their children watch and do.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedTherefore, I believe that a thorough investigation, both physical and psychological, should always be conducted before shifting the blame from a child to the parent. This would make the process more trustworthy and fact-based, as opposed to relying on non-factual factors.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne main reason is that people are not always affected by their parents or their home environment, as has been the case throughout history.
The revised sentence corrects the word order and improves the clarity.
RevisedDue to the development of social media and social life, it can be said that there is a higher chance of influence on young people from the content they consume on social media or their social circles, as opposed to their parents.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
RevisedIn conclusion, although parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's perspective and outlook on the world, I believe it is not enough to always hold them solely accountable without considering all the factors involved.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis is because, in general, the overall environment of a child's household plays a vital role in the development of their behavior and mindset towards the world.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity.
RevisedAccording to psychological research, parents, being the primary role models in a child's life, have a significant influence on shaping their worldview and mindset.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedThis is why a child's behavior can easily be attributed to their parents and the habits they foster, whether good or bad.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make your position more clear and directly address the prompt.
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