Multinational work and other cultures: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
280 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2280 words
The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In an increasingly interconnected world, people have more opportunities than ever to gain an understanding of different cultures.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAlthough I acknowledge that working for a multinational organisation can provide valuable exposure to cultural diversity, I disagree that it is the best way to develop such understanding, as travelling and learning about foreign customs can offer equally valuable experiences.
The revised sentence corrects the incomplete reference of the personal pronoun "I".
Employees are often required to communicate and collaborate with colleagues from different cultural backgrounds, exposing them to diverse perspectives, values and communication styles.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt must be admitted that working in a multinational organisation can effectively foster cultural awareness.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis regular interaction can over time make workers more open-minded and help them appreciate cultural differences.
The revised sentence provides a more natural word order.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor instance, an employee collaborating with colleagues from various countries may gradually become accustomed to different approaches to hierarchy, teamwork, and professional communication.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the same idea.
First and foremost, travelling abroad enables people to experience foreign cultures directly rather than encountering them solely within a professional environment.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, there are other potentially more immersive methods for developing cross-cultural understanding.
The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast to the previous point.
Lexical resource
RevisedVisitors can engage with local residents, partake in traditional customs, and experience diverse lifestyles firsthand.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary to convey the same idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedMoreover, immersing oneself in the history, traditions, and social norms of other countries through literature and other credible sources can provide valuable background knowledge.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary to convey the same idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedCombining this with travel or direct interaction can provide people with a much broader understanding of why different societies have developed distinct customs and values.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and direct phrasing.
Direct cultural experiences through travel, together with learning about foreign societies, can provide a broader and more immersive understanding of cultural diversity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, though working for a multinational organisation can be an effective way to gain exposure to different cultures, I believe it is not the best approach.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.5/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the topic. The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, and the overall structure helps the reader follow your argument effectively.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIt must be admitted that working in a multinational organisation can effectively foster cultural awareness.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
RevisedHowever, there are other potentially more immersive methods for developing cross-cultural understanding.
The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast to the previous point.
RevisedIn conclusion, though working for a multinational organisation can be an effective way to gain exposure to different cultures, I believe it is not the best approach.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.5/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. A variety of sentence structures is used, including complex sentences and passive constructions. Grammar and punctuation are used accurately, contributing to the clarity and professionalism of the writing. There are no grammatical errors, and the essay demonstrates a strong command of English grammar and punctuation.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough I acknowledge that working for a multinational organisation can provide valuable exposure to cultural diversity, I disagree that it is the best way to develop such understanding, as travelling and learning about foreign customs can offer equally valuable experiences.
The revised sentence corrects the incomplete reference of the personal pronoun "I".
RevisedThis regular interaction can over time make workers more open-minded and help them appreciate cultural differences.
The revised sentence provides a more natural word order.
RevisedCombining this with travel or direct interaction can provide people with a much broader understanding of why different societies have developed distinct customs and values.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and direct phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 8.5/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with terms like "cultural awareness," "collaborate," "communication styles," and "cross-cultural understanding" effectively conveying your ideas. There are no significant issues with word choice, and the essay demonstrates a good command of language.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFor instance, an employee collaborating with colleagues from various countries may gradually become accustomed to different approaches to hierarchy, teamwork, and professional communication.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the same idea.
RevisedMoreover, immersing oneself in the history, traditions, and social norms of other countries through literature and other credible sources can provide valuable background knowledge.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary to convey the same idea.
RevisedVisitors can engage with local residents, partake in traditional customs, and experience diverse lifestyles firsthand.
The revised sentence uses a more varied vocabulary to convey the same idea.
Task response
Band 8.5/ 9
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. You have addressed the task effectively by presenting a clear position that disagrees with the statement. Your introduction sets up the debate well, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument. You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of an employee working in a multinational organisation and the example of tourists interacting with local residents.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you consistently use formal language throughout the essay. This will help to maintain a more academic tone.
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