The loss of species: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
252 words. Marked by Axiom on 22 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2252 words
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Whether the extinction of animal and plant species is the most pressing environmental concern remains a fiercely debated subject. Although the loss of biodiversity is grave, I largely disagree that it is the most serious issue, since it is chiefly driven by problems that must be tackled first.
The decline of pollinators, for instance, jeopardises the crops on which billions of people depend.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNonetheless, there is a compelling case for prioritising extinction.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedEcosystems are intricately linked, and the loss of a single species can disrupt the entire system.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more natural phrasing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMore fundamentally, extinction is irreversible. For example, a polluted river can be restored within a generation, whereas a vanished species is lost forever.
The revised sentence is more clear and the example is now presented in a separate sentence for better readability.
Yet it is precisely because extinction is a symptom rather than the root cause that I disagree with prioritising it above other environmental concerns. Climate change is already pushing species beyond their capacity to adapt, while deforestation and desertification are destroying the habitats and forests that shelter wildlife and flora.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConservation efforts alone are not enough and can be likened to the analogy of trying to fix a sinking boat without addressing the hole.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more detailed explanation of the analogy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedConversely, curbing emissions and halting habitat destruction would protect numerous species at once, achieving more than species-specific programmes could achieve.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more natural phrasing.
In conclusion, I contend that although extinction demands urgent attention, it is better to address it indirectly by confronting climate change and habitat loss. In other words, tackling the root causes is more effective than dealing with the consequences.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedUntil these root problems are solved, it will be unviable to safeguard the natural world and its dwellers.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically correct.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNonetheless, there is a compelling case for prioritising extinction.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
RevisedConservation efforts alone are not enough and can be likened to the analogy of trying to fix a sinking boat without addressing the hole.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more detailed explanation of the analogy.
RevisedUntil these root problems are solved, it will be unviable to safeguard the natural world and its dwellers.
The revised sentence is more clear and grammatically correct.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedMore fundamentally, extinction is irreversible. For example, a polluted river can be restored within a generation, whereas a vanished species is lost forever.
The revised sentence is more clear and the example is now presented in a separate sentence for better readability.
RevisedConversely, curbing emissions and halting habitat destruction would protect numerous species at once, achieving more than species-specific programmes could achieve.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more natural phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThere is nonetheless a compelling case for prioritising the issue of extinction.
The revised sentence is more clear and natural.
RevisedEcosystems are intricately linked, and the loss of a single species can disrupt the entire system.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses more natural phrasing.
RevisedUntil these root problems are resolved, it will be impossible to safeguard the natural world and its inhabitants.
The revised sentence uses more precise language and correct grammar.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task fully, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be stronger.
Suggestions
- Try to make your conclusion more impactful. You could summarize your main points and restate your position more forcefully.
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