The influence of news media: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
522 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2522 words
Part 2: Today news plays an important role in people's lives and news media are more influential than ever before. Why is it this case? Is it positive or negative?
In the current day and age, the role of news has become vitally essential in the lives of ordinary people and its influence is far greater now than ever before. This shift can primarily be attributed to the rapid growth of digital technology as well as the huge number of independent media people. Although this trend may bring certain risks, I firmly believe that it is a largely positive development, particularly because of its convenience and the speed of delivering information.
Nowadays, billions of people own their smartphones, laptops or other technological devices which make them accessible to get the breaking news with just a click. But, in the past people had to wait sometime for the following day’s newspaper or scheduled TV broadcast to receive the latest news, which seems too strange and slow today.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe fast-changing, technology-driven world is one major factor behind this shift.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIronically, almost all news media platforms are also trying to integrate their information into the digital networking systems that people use on a daily basis.
The preposition 'into' is more appropriate in this context.
The internet has revolutionized the way people catch up on the news, it enables people to diverse perspectives of the same issue. This, in turn, sparks people`s curiosity in getting the news. By contrast, there existed only very few number of official TV channels streaming mostly government reports and propaganda for people to hear the news in the last century, for example.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe excessive number of independent journalists and bloggers in media is another compelling reason.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis variety of viewpoints is primarily driven by the numerous media professionals who independently spread a wide range of local and international news.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Admittedly, this tendency is not without drawbacks. The same news can be reported differently in different news websites, making it difficult for ordinary people to distinguish between reliable journalism and unverified content. A striking example would be a case during a Covid-19 pandemics, when diverse ways of fake treatments from the illness went viral around the globe, causing a widespread panic and misunderstandings.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe main drawback is that social media is poorly regulated, allowing a vast majority of misleading and biased news to circulate rapidly.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
The news has already become an inseparable part of people`s everyday life, enabling citizens to shape a public opinion about a certain issue. Particularly, the urgent news about major global events such as natural disasters, wars, economy crises plays an important role in informing the public immediately.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedI strongly contend that this shift does more good than harm to people.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis is mainly because these events can directly affect people and sometimes require an immediate response.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA clear illustration of this is the floods that occurred in Nepal, where thousands of people were able to escape the disaster zone due to timely news alerts.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
In conclusion, this trend is mainly motivated by the development of technologies and the freedom of media.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedDespite some problems related to the authenticity of news, I strongly believe that it is a positive development due to its efficient news sharing capabilities.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different aspect of the topic, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your arguments. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively ("One major factor," "Another compelling reason," "Nevertheless"), which helps to guide the reader through your essay. However, the connection between the first and second body paragraphs could be made clearer to improve the overall flow of the essay.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe fast-changing, technology-driven world is one major factor behind this shift.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
RevisedThe excessive number of independent journalists and bloggers in media is another compelling reason.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
RevisedI strongly contend that this shift does more good than harm to people.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. A few minor errors do not detract from the overall clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. Your grammar and punctuation are generally accurate, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised to improve clarity and readability.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIronically, almost all news media platforms are also trying to integrate their information into the digital networking systems that people use on a daily basis.
The preposition 'into' is more appropriate in this context.
RevisedA clear illustration of this is the floods that occurred in Nepal, where thousands of people were able to escape the disaster zone due to timely news alerts.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedDespite some problems related to the authenticity of news, I strongly believe that it is a positive development due to its efficient news sharing capabilities.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A wide range of vocabulary is used appropriately and accurately. You demonstrate a strong command of academic vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms such as "digital networking systems," "excessive number of independent journalists and bloggers," and "misleading and biased news." Your use of language is clear and effective, with no significant issues related to word choice or expression. However, you could further improve the readability of your essay by using simpler, more direct language in some areas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis variety of viewpoints is primarily driven by the numerous media professionals who independently spread a wide range of local and international news.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
RevisedThe main drawback is that social media is poorly regulated, allowing a vast majority of misleading and biased news to circulate rapidly.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
RevisedThis is mainly because these events can directly affect people and sometimes require an immediate response.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively. The writer presents a clear position throughout the response and supports this position with relevant examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the increased influence of news in people's lives and the positive and negative aspects of this trend. You present a clear position and support it with relevant examples and explanations. Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, and you provide a well-developed argument that addresses the prompt directly.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide detailed explanations and examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
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