Growth and a clean environment: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
312 words. Marked by Axiom on 25 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2312 words
Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two objectives are not compatible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Lexical resource
RevisedWhile the idea of a country being both economically and environmentally successful is gaining traction, some argue that these two aspects are not compatible.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and spelling, and provides a more natural phrasing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI strongly believe that it is possible for a country to be successful in both economic and environmental aspects, although this may be challenging for developing countries due to factors such as overpopulation, dilemmas between different sectors, and systemic gaps.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
On the one hand, some people supporting idea of being economically and environmentally successful is easy to government to do, and for that there have reasons, for example: citizens using social medias to showing touristic opportuinites, awaring nation about being friendly with nature.
Lexical resource
RevisedThus, by focusing on a clean environment, others are addressing various forms of pollution and utilizing media channels to raise awareness and promote their regions, thereby increasing tourism and international visibility.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
For example, for developing countries it is hard to handle ecenomic process because of high rate of birth, and due to climate conditions government may struggle in developing environmental progress. Due to environmental problems, it is hard to obatin interest from abroad tourist and country may find hard to make connections with other countries.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, others argue that it is not feasible to achieve these two objectives simultaneously, for reasons such as the challenges faced by developing countries.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise expression of the contrasting view.
Lexical resource
RevisedDue to overpopulation, it is challenging to provide opportunities and deliver high-quality services to all.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAs a result, it may be a challenge for developing or even other developed countries to maintain both aspects of the environment and the economy.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while some people support the idea of simultaneous environmental and economic growth, others suggest that countries may struggle to maintain both.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, with better use of linking words.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay is structured to discuss both views on the compatibility of economic success and environmental cleanliness in countries, leading to a personal conclusion. However, the overall cohesion could be improved with clearer transitions and a more logical progression of ideas. Suggestions: Use more varied and precise linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Therefore"). Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to avoid confusion and enhance the clarity of your argument. Introduce the main point of the paragraph before expanding with supporting details or examples.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, some people support the idea that it is easier for a government to be economically and environmentally successful, citing reasons such as the use of social media by citizens to showcase tourist opportunities and raise awareness about environmental friendliness.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and better flow of ideas.
RevisedOn the other hand, others argue that it is not feasible to achieve these two objectives simultaneously, for reasons such as the challenges faced by developing countries.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise expression of the contrasting view.
RevisedIn conclusion, while some people support the idea of simultaneous environmental and economic growth, others suggest that countries may struggle to maintain both.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, with better use of linking words.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate. However, there are some minor errors and awkward constructions. The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that impact the clarity and readability of your writing, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, article use, and sentence construction. Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve the overall quality of your writing. Pay attention to verb forms, article usage, and the agreement between subjects and verbs. Practice varying your sentence structures to add complexity and nuance to your writing, while still maintaining grammatical accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI strongly believe that it is possible for a country to be successful in both economic and environmental aspects, although this may be challenging for developing countries due to factors such as overpopulation, dilemmas between different sectors, and systemic gaps.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedAs a result, it may be a challenge for developing or even other developed countries to maintain both aspects of the environment and the economy.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedOn the one hand, some people support the idea that it is easier for a government to be economically and environmentally successful, for example, citizens using social media to showcase tourist opportunities and raise awareness about environmental friendliness.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and provides a more natural phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some flexibility in use of words and phrases. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. You demonstrate a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "economically successful," "environmentally friendly," "overpopulation," and "pollution." Be mindful of spelling and typographical errors that can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing (e.g., "famous" instead of "fame," "opportunities" instead of "opportuinites"). Aim for precision in word choice to clearly convey your ideas and avoid ambiguity. Consider using synonyms to avoid repetition and enrich your text.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile the idea of a country being both economically and environmentally successful is gaining traction, some argue that these two aspects are not compatible.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and spelling, and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedThus, by focusing on a clean environment, others are addressing various forms of pollution and utilizing media channels to raise awareness and promote their regions, thereby increasing tourism and international visibility.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedDue to overpopulation, it is challenging to provide opportunities and deliver high-quality services to all.
The revised sentence corrects the issues with word choice and provides a more natural phrasing.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have addressed the prompt by discussing both the potential for countries to be economically successful and environmentally clean, as well as the challenges, particularly for developing countries. However, your argument could be more fully developed with a clearer structure in each paragraph presenting a distinct point or set of points supporting your overall argument. Suggestions: Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea that supports your argument. This will help to keep your writing organized and your argument clear. Develop your points with more detailed explanations, examples, and evidence to strengthen your argument. This will not only help to clarify your position but also to persuade your reader of the validity of your arguments.
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