Growth and a clean environment: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 4.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
210 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2210 words
Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two objectives are not compatible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Many people argue about economic success and a clean environment. Some people think that a country cannot have both things at the same time.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn my view, it is possible for a country to achieve economic wealth while maintaining environmental cleanliness.
The revised sentence removes the redundant 'I think' and uses more formal language.
To make a lot of money, countries build many big factories and use cars. This can make the business lose profits. So, many people believe that economic growth destroys nature.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, the establishment of factories and businesses often leads to pollution.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedThese necessitate the use of coal and oil, leading to air and water pollution.
The revised sentence uses more formal and academic language.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdditionally, if a company aims to preserve nature, it often requires significant financial investment.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence.
On the other hand, I believe we can have both goals because of modern technology. For example, some rich countries use green energy and their cities are very clean.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedCurrently, we have the capability to utilize renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power.
The revised sentence uses a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThese sources of energy do not contribute to air pollution.
The revised sentence uses a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, the implementation of clean energy sources can lead to job creation, thereby benefiting the economy.
The revised sentence uses more formal and academic language.
However, I believe that today we do not need to destroy nature to be successful. We can use clean technology to have a good economy and a clean world.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, it is evident that traditional factories were detrimental to the environment in the past.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence and clearly summarizes the key points made in the essay.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, the establishment of factories and businesses often leads to pollution.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence.
RevisedAdditionally, if a company aims to preserve nature, it often requires significant financial investment.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence.
RevisedIn conclusion, it is evident that traditional factories were detrimental to the environment in the past.
This revision provides a more formal and academic tone to the sentence and clearly summarizes the key points made in the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of grammatical range and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedCurrently, we have the capability to utilize renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power.
The revised sentence uses a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
RevisedThese sources of energy do not contribute to air pollution.
The revised sentence uses a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
RevisedMoreover, the adoption of clean energy technologies can lead to the creation of new jobs, thereby stimulating the economy.
The revised sentence uses a more varied and accurate grammatical structure.
Lexical resource
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some instances of informal language that should be avoided in an academic essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my view, it is possible for a country to achieve economic wealth while maintaining environmental cleanliness.
The revised sentence removes the redundant 'I think' and uses more formal language.
RevisedThese necessitate the use of coal and oil, leading to air and water pollution.
The revised sentence uses more formal and academic language.
RevisedFurthermore, the implementation of clean energy sources can lead to job creation, thereby benefiting the economy.
The revised sentence uses more formal and academic language.
Task response
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. In this case, you could provide examples of countries that have successfully balanced economic growth and environmental protection.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to improve the overall structure and coherence of the essay.
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