Compulsory art classes: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
287 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2287 words
Art classes such as painting or drawing are important for children’s development, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world, there is an ongoing debate over whether art classes such as painting or drawing should be mandatory subject in high school because it plays a key role for youngsters development. For instance, which can be extremely vital for their future careers and desicions. it is also important to allocate some time to drawing or painting since it may help young people to develop strong personality. Subsequently, it allows them to effectively tackle problems associated with their future. which is also valuable especially in today's modern world. As a result, I firmly believe that and understand their abilities better by improving them at the same time. In conclusion, I agree with the view about whether art classes in high school should be mandatory or not. Personally, I think art allows young people to develop extremely important skills which may help them to develop strong personality in the future
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI completely agree with this idea, as art improves several essential skills, such as imagination and creativity, and also broadens students' horizons.
The revision corrects the list format and improves the sentence structure for better clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, some people argue that students should prioritize core subjects such as mathematics or chemistry.
This revision provides a clearer statement of the contrasting viewpoint.
Lexical resource
RevisedWhile these subjects are clearly crucial, it is also important to foster a broader outlook on life and other similar skills.
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedA well-developed imagination and creativity may significantly aid students in enhancing their problem-solving skills
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTherefore, it is my belief that, while art classes may in some cases distract students from more important subjects,
This revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, as I have mentioned before, art classes may enhance students' problem-solving skills by stimulating their imagination.
This revision provides a clearer and more precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAdditionally, art classes may contribute to the development of critical thinking skills
The revision corrects the plural form of 'skill'.
Lexical resource
Revisedcompulsory art classes in high school are beneficial as they aid in character development
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, some people argue that students should prioritize core subjects such as mathematics or chemistry.
This revision provides a clearer statement of the contrasting viewpoint.
RevisedTherefore, it is my belief that, while art classes may in some cases distract students from more important subjects,
This revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedOn the other hand, as I have mentioned before, art classes may enhance students' problem-solving skills by stimulating their imagination.
This revision provides a clearer and more precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few errors in grammar and punctuation that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI completely agree with this idea, as art improves several essential skills, such as imagination and creativity, and also broadens students' horizons.
The revision corrects the list format and improves the sentence structure for better clarity.
RevisedThis ability will enable them to effectively tackle future problems.
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedAdditionally, art classes may contribute to the development of critical thinking skills
The revision corrects the plural form of 'skill'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile these subjects are clearly crucial, it is also important to foster a broader outlook on life and other similar skills.
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedA well-developed imagination and creativity may significantly aid students in enhancing their problem-solving skills
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Revisedcompulsory art classes in high school are beneficial as they aid in character development
The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the importance of art classes in high school and their potential to enhance various skills. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed in some areas, and the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed in all areas.
- Consider the potential counterarguments and address them in the essay.
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