Compulsory art classes: IELTS Task 2 essay #3, band 7.0

People have different views as to whether art classes is often considered an important part of children’s development, so that it should be obligatory in all high schools. Despite art’s undeniable benefits for children’s self-improvement, I totally disagree that these subjects should be compulsory for every high-school student.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedWhile art undeniably offers benefits for children's self-improvement, I am of the opinion that these subjects should not be mandatory for every high-school student.

   The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.

Without a doubt, art offers valuable opportunities for students to improve their problem-solving skills. If students can create their own ideas in art classes, they probably learn to think creatively and experiment with different solutions, enabling students to develop their creative thinking. As a result, this can also enable them to shape their problem-solving skills, which can help them approach problems differently in their future life. Students who develop their creative thinking in order to create various images in art class can perform successfully and offer unique solutions in challenging situations.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedUndoubtedly, art presents valuable opportunities for students to enhance their problem-solving skills.

   The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedStudents who develop their creative thinking through creating various images in art class can perform successfully and offer unique solutions in challenging situations.

   The revised sentence provides a more natural phrasing and corrects the preposition use.

Despite these arguments, in my view, making art compulsory for all high-school students may be inappropriate because students have different interests and goals. When governments require art classes by law in high schools, all students have no choice but to spend curriculum time on it. Additionally, even students who have little enthusiasm for art must study it. Consequently, less time is available for subjects related to their goals, which can make students less motivated. A student who intents to pursue engineering probably benefit more from having additional time for mathematics and physics than from being required to attend art classes.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedHowever, I believe that making art compulsory for all high-school students may be inappropriate due to the diverse interests and goals of students.

   The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting view.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedWhen art classes are mandated by law in high schools, all students are obliged to spend curriculum time on it.

   The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise word choice.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedA student intending to pursue engineering would likely benefit more from additional time for mathematics and physics than from being required to attend art classes.

   The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise word choice.

To conclude, although I acknowledge that painting and drawing can develop valuable skills, I firmly disagree with making art classes compulsory for every high-school student.