Competition or cooperation: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
268 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2268 words
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMany individuals believe that competitiveness in the workplace, education, and even in daily life is highly valued, while others argue that collaboration is more beneficial than competition.
The revised sentence corrects the spacing error and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn this essay, I will discuss both perspectives before explaining my belief that teamwork is ultimately more advantageous.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
For example, if competition exists among colleagues in the workplace, the scale of work and demand for their products may increase dramatically.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedCompetition has several benefits.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe clear rationale is that competition encourages not only workers to outperform each other but also students and other individuals strive to surpass their peers.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, this could result in elevated educational standards in schools as students study more diligently to outdo their classmates.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
For this reason, I think that we should try to cooperate more with friends or other people in an effort to learn some kind of skill or find a solution for an issue.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConversely, if individuals collaborate to solve problems instead of competing, the process can be more efficient and yield a wider range of solutions.
The revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOne key reason is that cooperation allows us to expand our knowledge and may lead to the creation of unique ideas.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedHowever, collaborating with a skilled individual in a particular field can simplify tasks and facilitate the acquisition of new skills through direct feedback or tips.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the positive aspects of collaboration, though often overlooked, are significantly more beneficial than the benefits of competition.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedCompetition has several benefits.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
RevisedConversely, if individuals collaborate to solve problems instead of competing, the process can be more efficient and yield a wider range of solutions.
The revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, the positive aspects of collaboration, though often overlooked, are significantly more beneficial than the benefits of competition.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMany individuals believe that competitiveness in the workplace, education, and even in daily life is highly valued, while others argue that collaboration is more beneficial than competition.
The revised sentence corrects the spacing error and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
RevisedIn this essay, I will discuss both perspectives before explaining my belief that teamwork is ultimately more advantageous.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
RevisedOne key reason is that cooperation allows us to expand our knowledge and may lead to the creation of unique ideas.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and provides a more precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe clear rationale is that competition encourages not only workers to outperform each other but also students and other individuals strive to surpass their peers.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedFurthermore, this could result in elevated educational standards in schools as students study more diligently to outdo their classmates.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedHowever, collaborating with a skilled individual in a particular field can simplify tasks and facilitate the acquisition of new skills through direct feedback or tips.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be improved to more effectively introduce the topic and the writer's position.
Suggestions
- Consider rephrasing the introduction to more effectively introduce the topic and the writer's position.
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