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Cities becoming more alike: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

476 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2476 words

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people traveled abroad to experience the unique characteristics and cultural diversity of foreign cities. However, nowadays, cities around the world are becoming increasingly similar, with architectural styles and lifestyles converging.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe reasons for this trend will be explored in this essay, along with an evaluation of whether the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages.

    This revision makes the sentence slightly more formal and academic.

Historically, each country had its own distinctive architectural style, reflecting its cultural heritage and traditions. Buildings, city layouts, and public spaces were designed to align with local customs and climates. However, in recent decades, a significant shift has occurred toward modern and often similar architectural designs. Major cities such as Dubai, New York, and Sydney now feature towering skyscrapers and high-rise buildings, which are designed to accommodate a growing population in limited urban space. These structures are not only symbols of economic development but also serve practical purposes, such as offering efficient housing solutions and maximizing available land. Additionally, the global influence of large multinational corporations has promoted the use of similar retail spaces, hotels, and restaurants in cities worldwide, further contributing to the uniformity of urban landscapes.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedGlobalization, one of the primary factors driving this change, has led to the spread of universal construction practices and urban planning strategies.

    The revised sentence provides a clearer cause and effect relationship.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe demand for such buildings is fueled by rapid urbanization and the growing need for sustainable, space-efficient living environments.

    The word 'fuelled' is more appropriate in this context as it conveys the idea of 'driving force' more effectively.

On the positive side, the development of high-rise buildings has allowed cities to address critical housing shortages, providing homes to millions in densely populated areas. Furthermore, the globalized nature of modern cities has made it easier for people to adapt and settle in new places, as urban environments become more familiar and accessible. However, the growing similarity between cities may also result in a loss of cultural identity. As a result, cities may lose their unique character, making them feel less distinctive and less reflective of local traditions. Moreover, this trend could reduce the appeal of traveling abroad, as tourists may find fewer surprises and new experiences in destinations that resemble one another.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedHowever, there are also drawbacks to consider in light of these changes.

    This revision improves the flow of the sentence and makes it more formal.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedTraditional architecture, which often reflects a city's history and values, is gradually being replaced by generic, modern designs.

    The phrase 'tells the story of' is a bit informal for an academic essay. 'Reflects' is a more appropriate choice.

In conclusion, while the shift towards similar urban designs and practices is driven by practical considerations such as population growth and the need for efficient use of space, it also raises concerns about the erosion of cultural diversity and individuality. Ultimately, whether these advantages outweigh the disadvantages depends on one's perspective, but it is clear that finding a balance between modern development and preserving cultural heritage is crucial for the future of urban living.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedThe advantages, including better housing solutions and greater global interconnectedness, are significant, but the potential loss of unique cultural identities and the homogenization of cities could be seen as significant disadvantages.

    The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast and improves the structure of the sentence.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedThe reasons for this trend will be explored in this essay, along with an evaluation of whether the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages.

    This revision makes the sentence slightly more formal and academic.

  • RevisedHowever, there are also drawbacks to consider in light of these changes.

    This revision improves the flow of the sentence and makes it more formal.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedGlobalization, one of the primary factors driving this change, has led to the spread of universal construction practices and urban planning strategies.

    The revised sentence provides a clearer cause and effect relationship.

  • RevisedThe advantages, including better housing solutions and greater global interconnectedness, are significant, but the potential loss of unique cultural identities and the homogenization of cities could be seen as significant disadvantages.

    The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast and improves the structure of the sentence.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedThe demand for such buildings is fueled by rapid urbanization and the growing need for sustainable, space-efficient living environments.

    The word 'fuelled' is more appropriate in this context as it conveys the idea of 'driving force' more effectively.

  • RevisedTraditional architecture, which often reflects a city's history and values, is gradually being replaced by generic, modern designs.

    The phrase 'tells the story of' is a bit informal for an academic essay. 'Reflects' is a more appropriate choice.

Task response

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task fully and provides a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. The writer's position is clear throughout the essay.

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