Why some people work harder: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0

People are working harder than others. Workplace competition and social media influence are possible causes of this trend. I strongly believe that it is clearly a negative tendency.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedSome individuals are outworking others.

   The revision provides a more precise and formal expression of the idea.

One predominant factor contributing to working harder than others is workplace competition. Some people may devote more time to work because they may want to get recognition or higher salaries from their employers. Because of this, some people may spend excessive time on outcompeting their work colleagues. Another possible reason why people work harder than others is the pervasive presence of social media influence. People utilizing social media to post their occupation achievements or other successful work may make viewers feel like they are not doing enough, putting more pressure to work harder. These posts may exacerbate individuals' stress and anxiety, leading to health issues. Not only may social media put more pressure on individuals to work harder, but it may also create unhealthy competitions between workplaces.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedAs a result, some people may spend excessive time trying to outcompete their colleagues at work.

   The revision provides a more natural and precise phrasing of the idea.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedSocial media influence is another possible reason for the disparity in work intensity among individuals.

   This revision makes the sentence more concise and improves the flow of ideas.

Despite the possible benefits of hard work, i still believe that it may lead to serious repercusssions on people's well-being. Individuals working too hard may allocate less time to their personal activities or the rest in order to outcompete other colleagues. Neglected rest and time to other personal activities may lead to health complications, including burnout, stress and anxiety. For example, an employee who regularly stay at work late may spend less time on the rest, leading to poor work-life balance.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIndividuals who work excessively may neglect their personal activities and rest in an effort to outcompete their colleagues.

   The revision provides a more natural and formal phrasing of the idea.

In conclusion, it has become increasingly common for people to work harder than others because of social media influence and workplace competitions between employees. In my view, it is clearly a negative development because of its possible downsides, such as poor work-life balance.