Unpaid community work for young adults: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0

There is a suggestion that all young people whose ages range from 18-22 should experience the time when they are required to work as a volunteer to help others in the community. Although this proposal can be disadvantageous since young adults have to be dependent on their parents’ financial support and will have no money-related motivation, I believe the benefits of this phenomenon would outweigh its overall disadvantages.

Quite often, not only children and teenagers are provided with an allowance by their parents, but their needs, such as clothing, food, and education, are satisfied. However, not many parents can do this all the time, especially when their children are mature. On this stage, young adults are required to work at either part-time jobs or full-time ones, challenging them to be financial independent. Yet, if they are forced to undertake a period of unpaid work helping in the community, they will still be dependent on their parents in terms of money, leaving their parents in difficult conditions.

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   RevisedHowever, not all parents can support their children in this way all the time, especially when they reach maturity.

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What is more, it is money that is the main motivator for many people to work, as money can meet their daily needs. In other words, the more income people have, the more they feel satisfied. However, when young adults work for free, they will have less motivation, potentially making their less quality and productive.

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   RevisedFurthermore, financial necessity often serves as the primary motivation for people to work, as it enables them to meet their daily needs.

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Nonetheless, unpaid jobs are popular with their sharing experience. To be specific, young adults are usually regarded inexperienced in employment sector, even though they have certain skills. Doing volunteering work can be beneficial to gain experience in job fields through hands-on practice. In Uzbekistan, for example, the majority of young individuals who want to be a teacher usually receive training by working in private learning centers are a volunteer assistant. Furthermore, voluntary projects are often useful for skill development, as young individuals can develop a range of skill sets, such as crafting, teaching, and communication. In Asian countries, for example, young people usually engage in unpaid jobs in order to master necessary abilities for their future occupations.

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   RevisedNevertheless, unpaid jobs are valued for the opportunity they provide for young adults to gain and share experience.

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   RevisedSpecifically, young adults are often perceived as inexperienced in the job market, even though they may possess certain skills.

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   RevisedIn Uzbekistan, for example, the majority of young individuals who aspire to be teachers typically receive training by working as volunteer assistants in private learning centers.

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Another worth noting advantage of experiencing a period of unpaid work is feeling a sense of belonging. Specifically, when young adults participating in voluntary projects: cleaning and gardening, they feel that they are also trying to improve well-fare of their communities. They can also improve their communication skills by socializing with other similar volunteers, often making them well-rounded individuals.

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   RevisedAnother notable benefit of engaging in unpaid work is the sense of belonging it can foster.

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   RevisedThey can also enhance their communication skills by interacting with other volunteers, often leading to a more well-rounded personality.

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In conclusion, while forcing young adults to undertake the period when they do not receive payment for their work can be negative when it comes to financial condition and money-related motivation, I contend that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, as the examples above suggest.

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   RevisedIn conclusion, while obligating young adults to work without payment during a certain period may negatively impact their financial situation and motivation,

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