Throwing away broken items: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5

In today's modern culture, many people prefer to throw away broken goods rather than fix them, although a significant number still value repair and reuse. While there are some contributors for the given problematic situations, I believe that this is not insurmountable and can be tackled in many ways (such as tax reductions and longer warranties and modular design). Further , in the essay, I will provide reasons why the problem occurs in the case and propose solutions for this issue.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedWhile there are some contributing factors to this problem, I believe it is not insurmountable and can be addressed in various ways, such as through tax reductions, longer warranties, and modular design.

   The revised sentence is grammatically more accurate.

On the one hand, the above-mentioned difficully has a wealth of significant causes. One major reason for this trend is the falling cost of goods. Thanks to mass production, to buy a new phone, item of clothing, or household appliance is often cheaper than repairing the old one, or costs almost the same. In addition, modern products are frequently designed with short lifespans which provides people without stamina. Thereby, major customers are often purchase a new ones by throw old ones. The brilliant example for this is Hermes. It is well-known and famous brand which produces different bags and consumers are mostly preferred it. However, it frequently produces a new designed bags and it short lifespans. Due to the majority of people are buy them expensive price and they suffer from it.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThus, customers often choose to purchase new items instead of repairing the old ones.

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2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedHermes is a well-known and respected brand that is often preferred by consumers for its high-quality bags.

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On the other hand, this trend have several positive ways which can help to reduce listed detriments.To address the wasteful side of this trend, government should introduce incentives such as tax reductions for repair businesses, making these services more competitive with buying new. When it comes to Sweden, this is a brilliant example of this opinion. In Sweden, people are paying on repair services lower than other countries because Sweden reduced VAT on repairing. Furthermore, manufacturers should also be required to design longer-lasting products and provide accessible spare parts, extending product lifespans. Hence, companies should build products that can be taken apart and have replaceable batteries. For instance, Fairphone devices are modular. You can easily open the phone and replace parts (like the screen, battery or camera) yourself using a simple screwdriver. They sell cheap spare parts on their website and provide software support for up to 8-10 years, dramatically reducing e-waste.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, there are several ways to mitigate the negative effects of this trend.

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2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn Sweden, the cost of repair services is lower than in other countries because Sweden has reduced the VAT on repairs.

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3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedTherefore, companies should design products that can be disassembled and have replaceable batteries.

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4. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThey offer affordable spare parts on their website and provide software support for up to 8-10 years, which significantly reduces electronic waste.

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In conclusion, the aforementioned trouble some condition is attributable to its root causes, (including falling cost of goods and short lifespans of newly designed products). Nevertheless, (by tax reductions, longer warranties, and modular design) it can be tackled effectively, i think.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, the root causes of the aforementioned issues, such as the falling cost of goods and the short lifespans of newly designed products, can be addressed effectively.

   The revised sentence is more clear and direct.