Tall apartment blocks in cities: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
310 words. Marked by Axiom on 28 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2310 words
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is often argued that building tall apartment blocks is the best way to provide enough homes in huge cities. While some people may hold a different view, I strongly agree with this view because by building tall apartments they provide more opportunities for people who can't afford to buy their own house in busy cities. And the second main reason is that constructing tall buildings is more profitable because of their architecture.
This is largely because buying a detached house is more financially hard than renting or buying an apartment blocks. Many young-married couples struggle with finding a house for them because of the fact that young-married couples try hard to allocate their money and most of them are working with not the best salary. As a result, they need to find the house which is affordable and suitable for them.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe primary reason why I agree with this statement is the financial advantage it offers to people.
The revised sentence is more concise and direct.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, if someone works nearby the city, it may be more practical for them to buy or rent a house in the city than renting a flat in other towns.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis demonstrates that by constructing tall apartment blocks, more people can afford to live in the city centre.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and the awkward phrasing.
Nowadays, the large cities are becoming more developed and modern, which gives building tall apartments much more advantage than detached houses. . For instance, people tend to buy modern and good-looking apartments which fits with the styling of the city.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother important point to consider is the architectural impact of tall blocks in large cities.
The revised sentence is more specific and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe design of tall apartments is more suitable for the architecture of large cities compared to detached houses.
The revised sentence corrects the subject-verb agreement and the awkward phrasing.
This is because of its cost and architecture.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the establishment of tall apartment blocks in large cities, in my view, is the most practical solution to the housing crisis.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe primary reason why I agree with this statement is the financial advantage it offers to people.
The revised sentence is more concise and direct.
RevisedAnother important point to consider is the architectural impact of tall blocks in large cities.
The revised sentence is more specific and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, the establishment of tall apartment blocks in large cities, in my view, is the most practical solution to the housing crisis.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good level of grammatical control. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the essay. For example, "The design of tall apartments are more suitable for architecture of the large cities rather than detached houses'" should be "The design of tall apartments is more suitable for the architecture of large cities compared to detached houses."
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis demonstrates that by constructing tall apartment blocks, more people can afford to live in the city centre.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error.
RevisedThe design of tall apartments is more suitable for the architecture of large cities compared to detached houses.
The revised sentence corrects the subject-verb agreement.
RevisedFor example, if someone works nearby the city, it may be more practical for them to buy or rent a house in the city than renting a flat in other towns.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "financially advantageous," "affordable," and "architectural impact." However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. For example, "This demonstartes that by constructing tall apartment blocks, more people can afford living in the city centre" could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis demonstrates that by constructing tall apartment blocks, more people can afford to live in the city centre.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and the awkward phrasing.
RevisedThe design of tall apartments is more suitable for the architecture of large cities compared to detached houses.
The revised sentence corrects the subject-verb agreement and the awkward phrasing.
RevisedLarge cities are becoming more developed and modern, which gives the advantage to tall apartment blocks over detached houses.
The revised sentence is more natural and clear.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of building tall apartment blocks in large cities. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the counter-arguments and by offering a more comprehensive conclusion.
Suggestions
- Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.
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